i'm 19 this year. i'm turning 20 next year, on my final year of poly life.
i'll be 21 when i officially graduate. 21, some people are working and earn a living for themselves. some people are pursuing their degree. some people, the very minority of them, wondering of what to do next, where to go, and dreaming everyday. just like me.
for the past 11 years in singapore. you guys have no idea how much my parents spent on me. they don't have to do it. it's not necessary at all, as in, it's not their job. since primary schools, all the tuition fees. my own leisure, whatever they provide me. Olevel suck my life to the core. i know how disappointed my mom gets, but i can't do anything. didn't want to continue my studies. she gave me all her love and ask me to continue. choose poly, paying SGD18k per year. and that is only school fees.
now, im at the stage where by i need to start thinking about my future, the next stage of life. whether or not for me to continue my studies. choose a profession and get my degree.
i'm getting a lot more than what others at my age get. i'm spending a lot more than them too. she bought me a car, a very expensive watch, and provide me with money. and i mean, a lot of money. i just feel so useless now. she's nearly in her 50s. and she has to worry for me.
the courses she ask me to continue cost a bomb. for what i see online, it's USD 171000. whether or not to go oversea is still another story.
i really don't want to spend her money anymore. i'm spending a lot more than what others did.
my thinking varies a lot this year, compared to the past. in the past, i ask for more and more. i dream about what she will provide me in the future. houses, car, business, money.
not anymore now.. too many things happened.. my mom told me over the phone. she doesn't want me to continue in business. it's very risky and tiring. she doesn't want me to suffer from all these she gone thru before.
all i think now, is how to earn a living by myself. how to survive in the future. not depending on my parents when im like in my 20s? or even 30s.
i want her to sell off her properties, cars, pubs, and whatever business she owns. don't leave anything for me, enjoy your retire life.. if i pursue the course she want me to take, she'll have to hold on, and postpone her retiring date.
idk what im talking about now, but, i do feel alot of stress. the stress that no one else on earth feel the same. i guess you guys don't understand.
