I Love Iyu

2012-02-03T09:53:00.000-08:00

歌曲:我以为
歌手:品冠

你曾说不想有天让我知道
你对他有那么好
你说会懂我的失落
不是靠宽容就能够解脱
我以为我出现的时候刚好
你和他正说要分开
我以为你已对他不再期待
不纵容他再给你伤害
我以为我的温柔
能给你整个宇宙
我以为我能全力
填满你感情的缺口
专心陪在你左右
弥补他一切的错
也许我太过天真
以为奇迹会发生
我以为终究你会慢慢明白
他的心已不在你身上
我的关心你依然无动于衷
我的以为只是我以为
我以为我的温柔
能给你整个宇宙
我以为我能全力
填满你感情的缺口
专心陪在你左右
弥补他一切的错
也许我太过天真
以为奇迹会发生
他让你红了眼眶
你却还笑着原谅
原来你早就想好
你要留在谁的身旁
我以为我够坚强
却一天天的失望
少给我一点希望
希望就不是奢望
我以为我的温柔
能给你整个宇宙
我以为我能全力
填满你感情的缺口
专心陪在你左右
弥补他一切的错
也许我太过天真
以为奇迹会发生
他让你红了眼眶
你却还笑着原谅
原来你早就想好
你要留在谁的身旁
我以为我够坚强
却输的那么绝望
少给我一点希望
希望就不是奢望

im a bitch

2012-01-29T06:47:00.000-08:00

its easy to fall in love, but its hard to let go.

it's time to say goodbye, maybe we should stop wasting time

soon

2012-01-13T08:32:00.000-08:00

im graduating soon.
where to go after i graduate?
anyone?any ideas?

more like im stuck to science-related courses..

i don't know
AH...

bye singapore ):
soon

Last semester

2011-10-29T07:05:00.000-07:00

Ah, time flew..
it's the last semester of my poly life already.

Being busy for almost half a year(due to interns)
i kinda missed alot of things.

my life hasn't been so tired, pissed, pointless before i start my internship.

How to express it?
i've experiment to run everyday, i've to face people in the lab.
can't express my feeling. the stress that i felt.
i even had nightmares of failed experiment.
nightmares of preparing 20L of D.
nightmares of testing Na and it exceeds the limit.
nightmares of my AS not working on me.
nightmares of typing and keying reports and results
nightmares of showing result to boss...
nightmares of working with my group mates...

anyway, it ended.
was asked if i would like to continue as part time in the lab.
well, i don't think i have to answer it.

it's the last semester of my poly life.
i wanna enjoy and laugh with my clique
i wanna do well.
things seems to go smoothly at least for now..

how? where to go after poly? what to do?
how to talk to mom? how to leave singapore...
i grew up here, a place which i stayed for 12years..
the place where i met all my friends, and learnt from.

MP, thanks for spliting us apart, thanks for all these shits u gave me.
i learnt to be mean, and ungrateful.

2011-08-19T09:43:00.001-07:00

watched one darn movie, and all in my mind is the past now.
everything just trigger the memories
bloody.
just let me off lah please.

happy

2011-07-24T04:51:00.000-07:00

happiest birthday ever.
really i swear.

i don't know how to express my feeling with words. but you guys can feel it right?
20th, the stage where i no longer belong to teenager.
it's like in between teenager and adults.
you know at the grey part.
i'm like fucking old.
idk, im 20 and im still in pursuing my diploma.

nevermind, i'm happy.
REALLY.

<3 ALL MY FRIENDS.
ESP YOU KNOW WHO!!

2011-07-16T20:24:00.000-07:00

this week has been a bitch to me.
yea the entire week besides tuesday.
cause Tuesday is Ahwan's bd and i didn't return to the lab.

the feeling is like shit, seriously.
I didn't want to express myself this way, but i can't think of other solution.
I know im kinda mean to ignore and treat you two coldly.
but i think it's time you guys should reflect about it.

this is actually the first time i'm really pissed with one of you.
When you are complaining to me about how your friends in your class treats you, i wanted to share my friends with you, i even risked my own friendship just to make sure that you are not alone.
now, you know what? i think everything has got it's reason to happen.
there is a reason why your classmates is treating you this way, somehow, you deserve it.

really, i feel that i'm being used by you guys.
you guys don't even treasure my friendship isn't it?
i'm like a spare tire huh?
taking me for granted?
talk to me nicely when you needed a grouping, talk to me nicely when you guys are in good condition

btw, i'm not that busybody that is so interested with your r/s
your gf wants to complain to me, by all means i listen because she is my friend.
you don't like it, go get a life.
i went out to see not because i care, because i'm afraid you will hit her again, c'mon u have tons of bad records already. don't feel proud of yourself for hitting a girl for whatever excuses you had.
Hero eh?

anyway, things are better now.
But my friendship with both of you will never be the same again.
i just have another 63 days to go, after this semester ends, good luck.

I knew it was a mistake in the beginning, i chose to step in this shit, i've no one to blame.
i just hope you guys at least respect me, don't make me feel like an ass when im covering up and tolerating. Seriously.

random

2011-07-05T07:18:00.000-07:00

Just a random thought,
sent mav home, i was day dreaming, and thinking of a lot of random stuff in my mind.

I've changed, like almost 6 years ago.
I've totally changed into another person, without you around.
I want you to know I've changed, this is a statement.
I've turned into a better person.

Getting into R/S is troublesome.
I wanna stay single but enjoy the flings around me.
Whats wrong with that?

END OF HOLIDAY

2011-06-25T08:04:00.000-07:00

Time flew, 2 weeks of holiday is TA-DA!
GONE.DONE. FINISHED

How i hope the MP-SIP can zoom like that..
SIAN.
9 more weeks to go?
ARGGGG

2011-06-01T06:50:00.000-07:00

This feeling is lousy..
All I wanted is some comfort from you,
But all you did is to hurt me deeper.
I want to share my life with you, I want you to know how hardworking I am now.
The reason is simple. I didn't want to disappoint you.
I've been following your directions since the day I started breathing.
The route you designed for me.

Ma, I'm twenty already.
All I request is that tiny freedom, let me choose my friend myself.
I have eyes to see and I'm not dumb.
I didn't want it this way but it happened and I have no choice.

Don't judge me.

I know how much you love me,
But it hurts.

rewind

2011-05-29T04:22:00.000-07:00

school has been a bitch to me.
fifth week ended and week six is starting tmr, time flew eh?

i'm exhausted.
mentally, physically
so drained. it's like sucking all my energy.

i don't have the intention to blog about it at first, but i guess u will read it. so i want you to know exactly how i feel.

i know you meant good in the beginning, like giving us this idea and planning. even went over to persuade her parents. you know i was really happy when you told me about it, like her parents agreed and we are going to have so much of fun.

i thought, i really thought we will be more bonded after this trip, i hope whatever issues we had before, or rather whatever issues u had with your group now can be settled. we will get to know more about each other and stuff, well everything is screwed now.

i don't know how exactly i'm going to feel, or behave infront of you. so i chose to avoid. i mean i rather we don't talk than awkward silence.

when you said u wana called it off. didn't i initiate to help? but what did u say?
do you know that ur response really, saddens me.
it shows how determine you are not going go and how rush u wanna end this thing.
it all turn into excuses. tons of excuses
don't you find it ridiculous that you can actually plan it, research about it, talk to us about it, and persuade her parents about it. but u just gave us a tight slap on our face.

and the excuse you came out is even more ridiculous. how do you expect her to buy that when you tell us how free your family is, as long as you are paying it yourself.
how you expect me to continue lying for you? you teach me can?
i can't find any excuse you know.

i'm not angry, not even pissed
im just disappointed.
i didn't had a good 19 birthday.
so? you are going to screw hers too?
taking turns is it?

when she forward me the text you sent, i find it hilarious. she don't even wanna go uss now. it's her birthday and you choose to end it this way. you don't feel the pain because this is not happening on you.
and i had to clear the mess up now?
i will keep both my eyes and ears shut.

think about it, i mean do you even think for her feeling at all? all in your mind is yourself. all the excuses you are coming out with, and the way you rejected my offer.

i don't like screwed up friendship, and i hate awkward moments.
forget it.
your temper and character, you are going to think im in the fault for not thinking for you and standing at your point of view again.

i'm done with it.
whatever it is.

dead

2011-05-18T07:19:00.000-07:00

ZOOOOM.
Fourth week of MP.
I'M STILL BREATHING BABY!

i'm just pissed that ipad2 is out of stock.
nevermind, i shall wait with my existing ipad.
ARRGGG.

Blog for the sake of blogging, because i don't want my dear bloggie to be dead!
Aite, nights FAITHFUL READERS!

sian

2011-04-23T11:11:00.000-07:00

Sch is starting soon..
MP + SIP
Monday - Friday
8AM - 6PM
DAILY.
FUCK.

Don't wanna elaborate what happened today,
everything is just so happening.
well, i did enjoy and surprisingly,
the awkwardness that i expected wasn't that serious.
hahahahhahahha

SIAN LA.
FML LA
TIRED LA

STRESS

2011-04-13T05:55:00.000-07:00

alright, backed home from a 4day SG trip.
well certainly, without any doubt, i had a huge fight with my mom.
yea, i mean, i seriously we can't really communicate.
My mom is rather, unreasonable when she's pissed.
so the best way is i disappear, and give her some time to chill.
Well, somehow she gave in.

I know i'm kind of unfilial to treat her this way, but i seriously don't care when i'm pissed.
met with the girls, and i mean, ALOT OF GIRLS.
hahaha

with the secondary girls, and the poly girls.
hahahaha

i enjoy all the outing very much, we had alot of fun (:
just that i didn't get to K with my babies ):

oh yea, something happening happen in my life!
I SKYPED WITH DR.RAJA, FYI he is my lecturer.
LOL
he informed me the details regarding the MAJOR PROJ.
YES.MY HELL.
he started with..
" I assign you as the leader of the team, cause i find you more responsible and i hope you can drive your team members to work"
i was like
ER...ER...OK.
lol

My team will be doing External Project that will be held in school.
He really stress me.
As in he keep emphasizing this is a external thing that we are assisting some scientist from idk which company on their research.
so we will be in lab for the whole of 3.1
doing biochemistry ==
OMG==
and, its only our team.
i was like, WHY US?
WHY?WHY?WHY?

i thought they will ask some pros like those crazy 4pointer or 3.99pointer LOL.
nevermind.
i hope things goes smoothly,
bless me lord!

pissed

2011-04-05T09:22:00.000-07:00

I'm fucking pissed.
you don't deserve the chance at all.
I'm in a mess now,
i regret for the WRONG decision that i've made cause she was softhearted.
and lead to all these craps now.

Hey, i'm not your girlfriend, i'm not your relatives, i don't even want to regard you as a friend now,
WHO ARE YOU TO MESS UP MY PLAN, MY FRIEND, AND HER LIFE.
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU.

F,PISSED.

hope i can get back to sg asap,
hope ahma's toothache recover asap,
i wanna meet up with my girls!
PICNIC, AND KBOX!

K, being in a r/s is sick and tiring.

im a lazy blogger

2011-04-01T09:47:00.000-07:00

alright im a fking lazy blogger
recently i browse some blogs and realise that blogger now a days are trying to type and express themselves in chim english.
i mean blogging in proper english or like any language that makes a blogger feel comfy is the main purposely of blogging isn't it?
what is the purpose of browsing through dictionary and thesaurus while you're blogger?
doesn't make sense at all.

anyway, elaine came over for a few days and we had hell lots of food.
hahahhaah.
she spent alot of money this time round, trying to make up for the previous trip i guess?
HAHAHAHAH

today went to chi chong gai ( petalling street)
with helen and dan kor.
we had sambal fish, prawn, sotong and lala.
(Y)
BAGUS!

you know chi chong gai, this place is rather memorable to me.
i mean, I used to be a tourist before i get my 2nd homeship in malaysia.
so my family always go there, for food as well as pirated disc.
it was almost 10 years ago, this ahpek selling braised pig organs.
ahma loves to dabao them back to hotel.
and i saw him there today!
same ahpek, same white top and grey shorts, same old bike, and the same scents of his food.

asked my ahma if she can recall this ahpek when i get home,
and surprisingly, she smile to me and nodds her head

next sem gonna be MP sem and i got no idea what i will be dealing with.
like shit sia.
everything is wrong lor.
wrong arrangement and so on. siannnnn

nights readers (:

phew

2011-03-17T06:42:00.000-07:00

Got my results today..
everything is expected.
besides french.
FRENCH IS THE BITCH this time.
F my teacher lor,
i think she failed my CP.

anyway, congrats to all that have done well..
so sad that my medical device didn't get A..
but cktsig GOT A!
which is totally random la.

the rest was B+
quite satisfied with my results besides THE FF.
FF = FUCKING FRENCH.

Ok, perhaps i was thinking too much.
but i really hope, and please don't let it be true.
i just hope whatever that i thought will be will never come true.
plsplspls

Holiday

2011-03-12T05:54:00.000-08:00

I've not been blogging for long.

Having my semester break now, so long, so sian.
My dad is repeating exact same sentence everyday.
" Can you do something productive? instead of eat, sleep, and it repeats"
and i will reply him with my very standard line.
" Pa, i'm having holiday"

LOL.
well Danker told me we will be getting our results on 17th before main exam ends.
and really, we are getting on 17th ):
he didn't lie to me!

now, im fucking nervous.
I've no idea how my result will be,
but for sure, this semester,there wouldn't be UNGRADED OR SUPP PAPER.
I'M FUCKING CONFIDENT FOR THAT.

ok, my life is rather bored.
my friends are busy working, earning their money.
i feel so useless.
ya, standard feeling every holiday.
i don't even have a fucking resume la.
pathetic.

TIME FLEW

2011-03-02T23:51:00.001-08:00

Year 2 ended..
time flew..
blink of an eye, its gone..

main exam this time goes quite smoothly,
excluding the CKTSIG paper..
the paper is tough.
i hope it don't screw my overall gpa this time.

anyway, realised my market value went up.
LOL idk if im suppose to feel happy for it or what.

sian.
going home later, and coming back in a few days time.

if i say just go and leave me alone, don't. because i don't mean it.
if i'm laughing, don't think that im really happy, because im not.
if i said i don't like you, don't trust me. because i really do.

Home

2011-02-15T08:23:00.001-08:00

will be home tmr,
i shall leave things hanging there.

everything will be fine after tmr!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

2011-02-10T08:12:00.000-08:00

Wa i can't believe i survived through this week.

keep this post short and sweet,
had bioinfo quiz, med dev labtest and cktsig quiz today.
bioinfo quiz = throw my marks into the dustbin! WASTED SERIOUSLY
med dev lab = GREAT. GREAT AND GREAT! PRAISE THE LORD!
was running around the lab when i got ECG!
cktsig quiz = was checking answer with dear THROUGHOUT. heng i realise he calculate wrongly! if not everything gone case.

THE ENTIRE MCT IS DONE.
PRAISE THE LORD!

FRENCH IS OVER,
PRAISE THE LORD!

okay aft this week, i've learnt so many things!
For MP.
yes, everything will be on MP now.

Now stress for main exam.
Hope this sem can do well!

OKAY BYE READERS.
I had fun today (:

2011-02-05T10:24:00.001-08:00

Just being random,
Was talking to mav and I suddenly realize I've got tons of shits to complete next week!
I'm reaching sg on Monday morning, which means Sunday midnight
Monday- practice for French speaking
Tuesday- orgcomm mcq + meeting assessment + cont praciicr my french
Wed- MCT Proj + French speaking test
Thurs- bioinformatics quiz, cktsig quiz , medical device labtest

And my bioinformatics individual report, mct interview!
How great la!

Happy CNY!

2011-02-02T21:55:00.000-08:00

I'm back home!!
Ok nth much to update.

So lazy to update my blog.
Reason being I don't want certain ppl to stalk me,
If u decide to disappear I'm my life, then please fucking don't appear again.
Call me cold blooded or whatever u want it, just rmb this, I/we don't owe u anything ,
Can't accept the reality then go get a life pls==

Anyway, life over here is as usual.
Siam. After CNY will be busy
So many test labtest proj deadline!!

And main exam is coming!
Sian

HApPY CNY!

2011-01-20T09:39:00.000-08:00

End of week3 for the final term of year 2.

somehow, i think things varies from the past.
like people changed, feelings fade, and mind corrupted.
well, it's all due to our surrounding i guess?

so many things to do,
Medical Device report done,
Bioinformatics Labtest is over,
French culture quiz2 is over,

but im still left with,
entire MCT project,
French speaking test,
Medical device labtest,
Cktsig quiz2,
Bioinformatics quiz2,
what else?
idk, thats all.

BUT, im going home sooooonnn (:
for CNY!

i don't blog often now.
i'm thinking if i should shut it down.

Are you like, stalking me?

fun

2011-01-07T08:42:00.000-08:00

parents back on thurs!
mei send me to aranda country club after school

ate in this chinese restaurant located right beside the lobby of the club,
we had like 20 dishes EXCLUDING desserts!
SIBEI FULL.

went to the toilet and shit while we are having dinner.
my stomach is just too active i guess.

travel around sg with parents and ate nonstop
gotta do some work now!

btw, i expect 3 Cs out of 4 subjects
But it turn out to be 1 C nia.
HENG TTM.
so my grades for term test is A,B+,B+,C
and the B+ are either 1-2 marks to A.
anyway, PRAISE THE LORD!

night readers (:
alot of things is going through my brain now.
i really want a best way out,
but i can't

I WANT!

2011-01-04T05:18:00.000-08:00

I've cravings for SAMOSA FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS.
BUT!

Went to BB, I WALKED ALL THE WAY THERE JUST FOR SAMOSA.
SOLD OUT!
THIS IS THE 2ND DAY ALREADY!

F!

seriously, no idea why certain people just can't do simple things properly.
or you just do it deliberately?
still testing my patience.
how great.

BORED

2011-01-03T08:04:00.000-08:00

i'm supposed to sleep early
and zhou gong knock on my wall at 8pm
but i HOLD ON and stay up just to wait for someone!

but!
SAME RESULT.
nehh minddddddddd

i guess i had the best christmas ever!
received 8 cards, 1 bookmark, 1 handmade i-don't-know-what-it-is, few boxes of chocolate, AND THE BEST, KEYCHAIN FROM BABY!

YES!
i keep showing off in sch today!
" MY BAG SO PACK SIA!"

HAD STEAMBOAT/BBQ with babies yesterday!
so bloated! SINFUL!
worst part is, DURIAN PUREE AND MANGO SNOWICE FOR DESSERT
then S&D with the rest!
S&D = i'm not telling you because it's way too sensitive!

will the world end on 2012?
BYE READERS
LOTS OF LOVE XOXO

p/s im just being high, idk why either

no idea

2010-12-31T04:56:00.001-08:00

I seriously don't know sia
are you like DUMB or what?
or your IQ is less than 10?

stop wasting your time
it just doesn't make sense sia

so pissed

and i don't want to attend school sia
AH.

Last day of 2010,
this year really JIN GAI SUAY sia

YES

2010-12-26T19:42:00.000-08:00

WOW

hmms
how did you guys spend your christmas night?
well,
i went to church on christmas eve, then party at uncle will's
on christmas day itself,
i sort of spend my entire day in my car =.=
went genting to find mav and mer!

BUT!
1hr only

story goes,
- Told mom i'm going genting to find friend
- Mom is worried and INSIST on following
- Doesn't want me drive up end up get driver to driver us up. really diao to the max
- When we reach there at 1630, mom says, : we will meet at the lobby at 1730! cause tonight eating dinner outside.
- Met up with them awhile and i left =.=
- So go genting for 1 hr, sit in the car for 2hr, somemore traffic jam when we reach KL city, so another 30mins.
- After dinner, i was sitting at home watching TV with ken.
- Then mom ran out from her room and say : Your dad is drunk, go and pick him
- Went to pick him and he refuse to go home
- Wait for another hour =.=

HOW'S YOURS?
mine is fun sia
DAMN FUN.

anyway, VANESSA WILL BE REACHING KL SOON.
picking her soon
I CAN'T WAIT!

YAWNnns

2010-12-22T09:26:00.000-08:00

SO SIAN AT HOME.

my life here is random and random lor.
just that have been constantly driving around.
doing sai gang.
bring ahma to the market, then wait for her for 1hr+ then come back home.
send maid to supermarket to shop for random things.
and blah blah blah

mav going genting on thurs.
mer going tmr night.

still no idea if i should go find them!
since also nothing to do

only went i got back to KL
then all the plans started flowing in lor

22-24 got chalet ):
25 got christmas party
26 another party
27 farewell party
28 friend's birthday party
29-30th clubbing nonstop
then countdown ):

walao......
only when i got back then tell me...
siann

anyway, yesterday went town to shop with parents
bought alot of toys for the kiddies

then mom ask what we want for christmas..
no idea lehh
don't feel like spending her money.
mama offered to buy me phones and etc few months back..
but end up i didn't mention it again..
don't want others to think that im spoilt

told mav i might want to work!
then buy things with my own money.
i think those people who buy things with their own money are so great.
like serious!
they can proudly say that!

ARH
SIAN.

LOOK FORWARD FOR VANESSA TO COME SIA
I CAN'T WAIT

HOMED

2010-12-19T04:01:00.001-08:00

Back home on Friday !
Parents and sis went to JB and pick me up!
not to forget about nana and pang pang.
had some very disgusting lunch and we head back home.

so this 2 days were rather simple.
eat and eat nonstop.
anyway,
this morning i drove ahma to the wet market.
she bought this chicken, which is ultra big.
and it Fking ex la.
RM75 SIA.

my ahma got so excited and she keep praising about this chicken at the moment she board the car, and till we got home. =.=
seriously diaooo.

anyway, term test is over and i'm currently worrying about mine screwed up results.
HAIX.

most probably we're shifting house soon!
but don't at where yet.
cause my current penthouse's price has raised so much.
almost 2x the price we bought it.

and my house is expanding la!
so many dogs.
so getting landed property now..

i seriously think a corner terrace is good enough,
but i don't why they are getting a Semi-D or bungalow.
useless and wasting money can.

my family is going crazy already,
firstly, they call my son nana,
then become 乖乖na.
then become 寶貝na.
and my mom come out with a new name just now,
心肝na!
i was like =.=

i really really thank god im the youngest child at home.
if not they won't be pampering me now,
even my son overtake me now la!

okay,
bye readers (:

Vanessa

2010-12-15T07:26:00.000-08:00

yes.
Didn't want to blog today but...

BLOG FOR SOMEONE.

VANESSA

I want a YELLOW Christmas card!

btw, you should blog more often (:

i've got motivated!

2010-12-11T08:45:00.000-08:00

MOTIVATED BY YOU!

I hope i can endure this.
just another 2 months.
we shall see who owns then

yawnnns

2010-12-09T20:30:00.000-08:00

okay,
term test is next week.
then officially closure to end of term1 of 2.2
LOL.
got back all our quizzes.
i can say it's overall quite well done?
firstly because we already know where to focus LOL
bioinformatics is really thrilling.
my teacher basically ANYHOW MARK.
lol.
the first qns on the RNAs
i wrote out the central dogma and i got full mark for that qns.
LOL
just that my restriction enzyme question is damn wasted ):
if not i would have score like 48/50
LOL.

cktsign also okay,
just that last part of last qns used wrong formula
LOL
but nevermind, im still proud of myself!

medical device is another tragedy
basically scored full marks but didnt know need to memorize the diagram
so anyhow draw
LOL.
didn know that diagram 4marks lol
was laughing with the girls when they saw my diagram!

anyway orgcom was rather disappointing.
i know my result earlier than the rest because Ms J asked me to go to sch earlier
hahaha

only french idk yet..
nvm la.
i gotta own termtest!
if not i will suffer in term2 siaa

okay after test will be back home for a week,
then back in sg for 1 week to finish the project ==

OKAY.
I NEED TO START STUDYING SOON LE.
BYE READERS!

I CAN'T IMAGINE

2010-12-03T04:24:00.000-08:00

I CAN'T IMAGINE I SURVIVED THROUGH THIS WEEK.
IT'S LIKE DAMN UNBELIEVABLE!
i did it!

i will skip all boring and not-worth-mentioning parts

MAJOR THINGS I DONE THIS WEEK.
- I LEARN CPR IN MEDICAL DEVICE LAB!
- I COMPLETE ALL THOSE BLOODY QUIZZES!
- WENT TO TTSH!
- MET UP WITH THE GIRLS
- ATE NONSTOP
- LACK OF SLEEP
- I KNOW HOW TO ORDER FOOD IN FRENCH! ( need more practice though)

hahahahahahha
today's trip to TTSH is definitely worthy and MEMORABLE!
SERIOUSLY.
i don't think anyone would know what i'm referring to!
LOL.
but damn tired after the trip!
initial plans was to eat with the girls at nakhom
but ahwan is going to be late to meet with her i-can't-rmb-who.
so we call it off!
cabbed home and drop baby at her place!

sooo tiredddd!

anyway, my mei mei is really nice that he pick me to sch sometimes!
ohh and send me back!
but it's not good la
think from next week onwards i will wake early and go to school myself!

YAWNS.
I WANT TO SLEEP ALREADY.
NIGHT READERS

我記得我愛過

2010-11-30T05:17:00.000-08:00

歌名:我記得我愛過
演唱:何潤東

電臺有人點播　
播我記得我愛過
後視鏡裡的我　
沉默話不多
目送妳下車
上樓　
緊握的蕾絲漂泊
妳的臉一閃而過　
知道一些線索　
在這個時刻　
我忍住沒有問出口

我記得我愛過　
哭著
要不回那些快樂
怕情緒失控著　
怕我淚流成河
怕妳說有些事勉強不得

我記得我愛過
也懂了　
妳感情上的轉折
淚濕透了紙鶴　
愛斑駁了顏色
而我的心被撕裂般拉扯　
已經難以癒合

妳說只是朋友　
我配合的很難過
妳眼神在閃躲　
在這個時刻　
還有什麼妳
沒說
妳低頭擦指甲油　
數著櫻花有幾朵
畫面感很溫柔　
我卻心算著
妳幾次沉默
冰冷對我

我記得我愛過　
哭著
要不回那些快樂
怕情緒失控著　
怕我淚流成河
怕妳說有些事勉強不得

我記得我愛過
也懂了　
妳感情上的轉折
淚濕透了紙鶴　
愛斑駁了顏色
而我的心被撕裂般拉扯

我記得我愛過　
要不回那些快樂
怕情緒失控著　
怕我淚流成河
怕妳說有些事勉強不得

我記得我恨過
也
瘋了　
開始自言自語著
淚濕透了紙鶴　
愛斑駁了顏色
而我的心被撕裂般拉扯　
已經難以癒合

hey friends, i'm not emo!
just think this song is so nicee!!

bioinfo quiz and org comm writing test is over.
thought bioinfo can do well..
who knows i forget to memorize the DNA sequence...
SIANN..

tmr's class at 8am.
SIAN TO THE MAX.

what to do?

2010-11-28T03:40:00.000-08:00

i'm 19 this year.
i'm turning 20 next year, on my final year of poly life.

i'll be 21 when i officially graduate.
21,
some people are working and earn a living for themselves.
some people are pursuing their degree.
some people, the very minority of them, wondering of what to do next, where to go, and dreaming everyday.
just like me.

for the past 11 years in singapore.
you guys have no idea how much my parents spent on me.
they don't have to do it.
it's not necessary at all, as in, it's not their job.
since primary schools, all the tuition fees.
my own leisure, whatever they provide me.
Olevel suck my life to the core.
i know how disappointed my mom gets, but i can't do anything.
didn't want to continue my studies.
she gave me all her love and ask me to continue.
choose poly, paying SGD18k per year.
and that is only school fees.

now, im at the stage where by i need to start thinking about my future, the next stage of life.
whether or not for me to continue my studies.
choose a profession and get my degree.

i'm getting a lot more than what others at my age get.
i'm spending a lot more than them too.
she bought me a car, a very expensive watch, and provide me with money.
and i mean, a lot of money.
i just feel so useless now.
she's nearly in her 50s.
and she has to worry for me.

the courses she ask me to continue cost a bomb.
for what i see online, it's USD 171000.
whether or not to go oversea is still another story.

i really don't want to spend her money anymore.
i'm spending a lot more than what others did.

my thinking varies a lot this year, compared to the past.
in the past, i ask for more and more.
i dream about what she will provide me in the future.
houses, car, business, money.

not anymore now..
too many things happened..
my mom told me over the phone.
she doesn't want me to continue in business.
it's very risky and tiring.
she doesn't want me to suffer from all these she gone thru before.

all i think now,
is how to earn a living by myself.
how to survive in the future.
not depending on my parents when im like in my 20s? or even 30s.

i want her to sell off her properties, cars, pubs, and whatever business she owns.
don't leave anything for me, enjoy your retire life..
if i pursue the course she want me to take,
she'll have to hold on, and postpone her retiring date.

idk what im talking about now,
but,
i do feel alot of stress.
the stress that no one else on earth feel the same.
i guess you guys don't understand.

and my fucking bioinfo quiz is tmr =.=

week6?

2010-11-27T05:36:00.000-08:00

TIME FLEW.
LIKE =.=

hell stress this week, busying doing work.
had french culture quiz and medical device quiz.
thank god both of them are over!!

BUT!

next week,
Monday: Bioinformatics quiz
Tuesday: Orgcom TBC writing test/French listening and writing mock test
Wednesday: HOPEFULLY NOTHING'S ON
Thursday: Circuits and signal quiz

and i dunno throughout this week there will be how many project deadline?!

while doing the projects, rushing reports and etc.
i realise i must be really responsible sia.
make sure i do my part well, if not it will affect the progress for entire group
there will be no excuses for any work to be undone or left out.
it's like totally irresponsible?
feel so bad for saylee, she's the leader for ALL the projects.
and she have to do alot more than us.
it's like ALOT.
and i really wanna help.
but i can't help much.
guess from now on i will grab everything i can do to myself.
reduce her stress and work.
c'mon, she has quizzes to study too..

2.2 is a very important semester.
i guess all these project is to train us for major proj.
if i DON'T learn and DON'T wake up now.
im going to screw the entire proj, as well as my group.
i don't wanna be the one making the whole group suffer sia.

anyway, went to NEX yesterday with jade.
kinda big!
so near to my house! very convenient for us to meet up in the future!
bought strawberry and cherry tomato just now.
im going to eat them later!!!

Tmr will be a study week for bioinfo, and hopefully slightly on cktsig.
i must do well sia.
I MUST.

HOME SWEET HOME~

2010-11-18T06:08:00.000-08:00

Homed on tue night (:
bloody jam on msia custom.
that's the bad point on taking coach instead of plane.
but i don't like short journey flights lah.
it's like wasting time and troublesome for them to pick me.

anyway, first night was tiring.
so after playing with my son, i started snoring like a pig.

second day!
went for my favorite chicken rice for lunch!
with family and few of my parent's employee.
and we coincidentally met uncle will and aunt sharon there.
after lunch, we went to fishing tackle!
YES I'VE GOT MY ROD!
YELLOW WOOT WOOT!

that auntie in the tackle shop ask me to get the cheap one first.
just IN CASE i got sick, and stop fishing.
so got one not that expensive one.

went fishing at night!
yes i caught NOTHING!
because we fish for like 1hr only?!!?!
my dad started calling and haunting me like mad.

JUST TO EAT SUPPER WITH HIM.
fine.
i got damn pissed.
end up, HAJI. SO NO PRATA SHOP IS OPENED.
KNS.

anyway, today was a boring day and tmr still got plan's on!
i gotta study before i go back!
cuz it's week 5 already!!
quizzes starting already!!!

bye readers!
im enjoying life now! (:

btwwww!
mom say i can change car! hopefully by next year!
i'm thinking, if don't change.
i wan to paint my current car yellow, NICE??

everyone deserve a second chance.

2010-11-13T05:49:00.000-08:00

ah, 3rd week of sch is over.
4th week is coming!
and you know, the best part of week 4 is that i only have sch on monday and tue.
LOL.
wed is haji, thurs self declare holiday.
and friday-sunday.

got damn pissed yesterday.
anyway, FORGET IT.
REALLY.

i don't care if you wanna take it as my temper's ultra bad or im insane.
but i make my stand clear, once and for all.
you dare to mess with my mom.
you get it from me.

seriously.
i don't care if you wanna kill me or do anything to me.
but to if you ever have the fucking nerve to even mention my mom.
i'll make sure you pay for it, and i mark my words.

on a happier note, yesterday went to amk with the girls.
ate at this MOF.
some jap restaurant or u call it cafe? IDK LA.
mint ordered unagi pasta.
it cost 14 but it's definitely worthy.
the freaking piece of unagi can cover the noodle sia.
imagine how big it is.
i had salmon don.
it's like eating salmon sushi la.
but it's nice though.

don't like to go out during weekends.
just wanna stay at home, stare at my lappy the entire day.
ohh my friend say he wanna pick me up for selegie dao hui.
but he's yet to call.

siannnn..
GOODNIGHT READERS!
those that sleep early.

time flew.

2010-11-07T05:45:00.000-08:00

tmr will be the 3rd week of 2.2, fast eh??

deepavli on friday, but no much diff to me cause i don't have school on friday also la!
being very random, i actually went shopping with elaine and my sister's friends.
random to the max.

and we actually stay in this particular shop located at cine for like 2hrs?!
and u know, the power of girls.
i didn't buy anything, but 5 of them bought like 19 items!
CAN YOU IMAGINE?
clothes, bags, HEELS.
only home at midnight.

next day, sat.
parents drove back.
with ahma, and 1 maid.
super random can.
neh mind.
so for the entire sat and sun i'm stuck with them.
they will be returning tmr with mich!
means im alone again....

btw, im staying in the hotel with my parents!
so fun!
it's a " double storey" room.
or i dunno how to call it.
it's like a room with ultra high ceilings,
then they divide the room into 2.
LOL.

beds and entertainment on top,
bathroom, toilet, bar and mini living room located downstairs.
it's cool to stay for afew days.
but if my room was like that ar, i've to climb up and down to pee or even open door for others.
NO WAY.

sch tmr!
love school days but i hate those long lasting labs that will never end!
like tmr, bioinfo for 3hrs.
but not as bad as MCT on wed 4HRS.

will be home next week!
wed is hari raya, thurs skip school!
monday take earliest flight back!
so i've 5 days of holiday!
wooohooo~

btw, when i was parking my dad's car yesterday.
i realise smth.
MY PARKING SKILL IS GREAT!
lol
NIGHT READERS!!

C'MON.

2010-10-29T23:31:00.000-07:00

something very funny happened yesterday.
woke up in the afternoon, read the messages that have been sent to my phone.
and i got extremely upset and disappointed.

wash up and started calling.
finally sort things out.

conclusion:
i've been backstabbed all this while.
i've trust the wrong person.

maybe it's true,
someone actually told me that only guilty people will started calling everyone and make sure i wasn't taking about her.

first thought in my mind.
sad, because you actually thought i am that kind of person that will bad mouth you when i got pissed.
end up you were the one doing that.
i swear i told everyone nothing happened.
so i got WOW.
and suddenly a lot of things came to my mind, like one entire big picture has formed.
forget it.

my initial plan was as usual, everything will be alright on monday.
but after yesterday, i really don't think i'm that generous to really ignore everything.

anyway,
i'm just disappointed and sad, then now i think it's funny.
because i'm like an idiot.
fooled around by u without even noticing.

end of week1

2010-10-28T05:56:00.001-07:00

today marks the end of week 28.
first week of school.
and i promise myself, i will sleep to the fullest for this weekend.
feel so tired everyday cuz my hour clock is like so different from others!
and it's not tune back yet.

slept at 3am, wake at 6am.
and i was falling asleep in french class.
and i don't even notice!
i think i was just snoring away~
anyway that guy beside me (Y)
suddenly make me look forward for every wed everyday!
cuz wed was very tired..
so i slept very early.
i think even before 10pm.
this morning wake at 730am.
still as sleepy now.

first week of sch,
and i'm so stressed already
because all the subjects are tough.
tough as in alot of things to memorize, and we're learning alot of skills.
bioinformatics, just like another molecular genetics.
medical device, another pure memory subject.
MCT, CKSGN= SKILLS.
FRENCH = PRONOUNCING AND MEMORIZING.

SIAN.

had nakhom with baby today at bedok.
shun bian send her home since im cabbing back.

sometimes, it's the matter of how u phrase the sentence.
forget it.
just so pissed.
never understand and never change. think about others
even if it's 1s, i will appreciate it.

sch's starting

2010-10-15T04:50:00.000-07:00

YAWNS.
life at home is sian, SIAN, AND MORE SIAN.
mom has been planning trips to all sorts of places, but i'm so reluctant to go.
contradicting ehh!

the reasons why i hate to lend car or load tons of people in my car is simple.
because you guys took advantage of it.
take it as a rubbish bin, never will you guys treasure it eh?

it's like, DUST BIN.
or even worst,
i've make my stand clear, i will never, and i emphasize, NEVER, lend my car to anyone else anymore.
but i still got a feeling my parents still gonna lend.
no choice, they buy one mah.
this feeling sucks.

anyway, i own MOLGEN!
YAY!
now, another thing to be worried of.
my TIMETABLE FOR NEXT SEMESTER.
SIAN.
I HOPE ITS A SWEE SWEE TIMETABLE SIA.
i guess im used to 3days weekend.
so if i've to come back to sch on friday, i will just die on the spot i think.

mood's been better at home!
i just hope things goes smoothly.

miss all my friend in sg,
those busy working ones, can't even catch them online.
SIAN AGAIN.

off to play with my son!

homed

2010-10-10T09:03:00.000-07:00

tired sia.

BBQ yesterday and i can't sleep well at night.
ass was fucking pain, and hand too.
idk why but i just have fever yesterday night.
i had to off the aircon to sweat till i wake in the middle of the night, then on it back.

reached home in the afternoon and played with my son.
drove mom, sis and maid to tesco for grocery shopping.
then i came back home to shit.
then go and pick them again LOL.

anyway, im very pissed now.
reasons, i shall remain silence.

was testing someone for the past few days,
i hope what i think wasn't right,
somehow, your behavior shows everything.
so sad and pissed, who should i even trust now?

I OWN.

2010-10-04T04:14:00.000-07:00

AH.
IT'S FINALLY OVER!
I HOPE!

LOL.
long time since i blogged..

had hell for the past few days lor.
preparing for my battle!
yes. MOLGEN SUPP!

i'll make sure it will be the first, and LAST time.
i'll never let SUPP happen in my life EVER AGAIN.
I SWEAR, I'M NOT GOING TO LET THIS HAPPEN.

my GPA dropped like F.
my grades was rather fine this time.
just because of MOLGEN.
my gpa was like WOW!

okay la
i've got 1 A,1B+,3Bs and ONE F!
that F is horrible enough.
it's not supposed to be this way, but some how it happened.
i guess i must and have to learn my lesson this time.
Don't be over confident. with anything.

XX is so kind that she treat me MAC today after my battle!
today's journey is way out from what we've planned.
LOL
we ended up in PS.
and watched movie,
DETECTIVE DEE!
I RATE THIS MOVIE 9.5/10
it's nice!
i can see the efforts of all the actors and crew!

talked to xx, anyway,
i will not and won't do anything.
just want peaceful life!

Can't wait for the BBQ on sat!
We're all gonna to have SO MUCH OF FUN!!
I HOPE!

er can't think of anything else already.
I MISS MY SON!
BANANA!
MOMMY MISS YOU SO MUCH!

btw,
i'm OVER YOU.
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

R-E-S-U-L-T-S

2010-09-22T03:43:00.000-07:00

3rd week of holiday,
so many things to update but im so lazy so forget about it.

was back to singapore with elaine on monday night,
yesterday went to PS with my girls (poly ones)
watched devil with them, although i watched before already.
LOL so my main attention was focusing on their face expression.

XX was sitting beside me, so when the thrilling part is coming,
SHE SUDDENLY GRAB ME, damn tight. walao very pain leh.
still say not scared LOL.
I think the movie is not scary, but xx is scary LOL joking joking
baby and ahwan waste my money la.
cover the eyes LOL.
and it's the first time i spill my drinks in the theatre, heng a it falls on the floor, not on me.. HAHHA.

I CAN'T IMAGINE I STILL CAN LAUGH NOW.
because I'm getting result real soon
Wondering how horrible it will get,

PLEASE, NO SUPP PAPER FOR ME PLEASE!
I DONT' WANT SUPP PAPER FOR MOLGEN.

very scared and sad..
and very scared my GPA >3 this time.............................................................................................

very happy this morning, when i wake.
okay la not morning i woke at 130pm.
haha dont mention already.
but now a bit disappointed la..

nvm.. RESULTS.
!!!
):

anyway, hope you guys enjoy mooncake with family today (:
bye readers!

2010-09-09T05:21:00.000-07:00

寂寞寂寞就好

還是原來那個我不過流掉幾公升淚所以變瘦
對著鏡子我承諾遲早我會還這張臉一堆笑容

不算什麼愛錯就愛錯
早點認錯早一點解脫

我寂寞寂寞就好這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱
就讓我一個人去痛到受不了想到快瘋掉
死不了就還好

我寂寞寂寞就好你真的不用來我回憶裡微笑
我就不相信我會笨到忘不了賴著不放掉
人本來就寂寞的借來的都該還掉
我總會把你戒掉

還是原來那個你是我自己做夢你有改變什麼
再多的愛也沒用每個人有每個人的業障因果

會有什麼什麼都沒有
早點看破才看得見以後

我寂寞寂寞就好這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱
就讓我一個人去痛到受不了想到快瘋掉
死不了就還好

我寂寞寂寞就好你真的不用來我回憶裡微笑
我就不相信我會笨到忘不了賴著不放掉
人本來就寂寞的我總會把你戒掉

came across this song just now.
so shock that the lyrics rhymes with my current life.
anyway, i screwed my MOLGE AND BIOPHYS badly.
molgen is totally dont know how to do
biophys is full of stupid mistakes.

i dontwant supp paper.........

sua. dont talk abt it anymore i gek xim..
had fun with the girls today!!
walk and walk so long.. leg abit suan just now.
finally holiday nowwwww
but my mood is so different from the past.
SIANNNNNNN

bye readers!

exam

2010-09-06T07:31:00.000-07:00

exam starts!!!

2 paper down today!
no paper tomorrow, and molgen on wed ):
biophysics on thurs.

maths and netfund was rather fine today.

baby is going back to KL with me this time!
yay!
we gonna have so much fun~

shall blog after thursday...

BYE BYE READERS (:

btw, i miss someone so badly now ):

shit.

2010-08-28T01:44:00.000-07:00

as i've mentioned in the previous post, i nearly got whacked by my dad/
and i swear i'll never come back.

end up, i got back on monday LOL.
no one mention that incident again, and peaceful life leads on.
LOL.

i lazy to type alreaedy, will continue tmr

what is home to me?

2010-08-20T08:04:00.000-07:00

i've no idea what's home to me now.

i don't know what to do next.
i will just avoid,a v o i d,AVOID,A V O I D.

reasons?
i'll say the super long story in short and neat way.

i don't know why i got very pissed off,
i scream at my mom,
my dad was on his way to whack me,
my mom stand infront of me to protect me and block him.
i got more pissed and walk off.

original plan was to go back on monday.
hell no.
sure dio whack.
i siao then i will go back.

pathetic life,under parent's control for the past 19 years and it is still going on.
tell me what to do next?

avoid!

can't think of any title

2010-08-12T22:15:00.000-07:00

life in KL is great!
but its kind of boring sometimes.
i've got Banana's comfort anyway LOL.
my son pee on me yesterday =.=
i realise he doesn't like to be left alone in the cage,
he will start making noise and cry
and i seriously meant, CRY .
howl?

haven't start revising ANYTHING although my main exam is coming.
anyway will be back to sg next week and stay there till my main exam ends.
which is 9th sept.
so will be in sg for like 20 days?
wow =.=
so excited==

some random things,
one of my maid is going back next week, and she'll be coming back.
so my house will be only left with 1 maid.
lol serve her right la.
let her do all the stuff alone and see if she GL again.
maids nowadays are so rude =.=
feel like slapping them hard seriously

no contact for 3 days already.
i guess i'll just slowly adapt to it,
and it marks an end to our chapter.

BANANA IS HOMED!

2010-08-09T20:42:00.001-07:00

HIS NAME IS BANANA!
HE IS MY SON!
I LOVE MY SON!

yea babeys, things will get better (:

Start of Study breaks

2010-08-07T21:01:00.000-07:00

as i've mentioned..
2.1 ended, so was back home on friday.
tagged along with uncle will's car, he went to sg for some camera shots.
so we chatted along the way abt photography and learn some simple skills from him!!
and i realise my kit-lens spoil sia!
no wonder cannot auto focus recently la!

reach KL at abt 8+pm
homed, and had dinner at home with uncle will and aunty sharon.
then while we're chatting on the dinning table,
the fire alarm triggered!
and we smell some sort of burning chao-da smell..
then all of us ran out to the balcony and kpo... SMOKE COMING UP FROM THE 19TH FLOOR.
michelle and I KPO and run down to check, but because fire alarm was triggered already,
so the lift was disabled automatically.
so we took stairs down and along our way,
i saw many elderly climbing down the stairs..
many mothers carrying new born babies..
disabled people sitting on the stairs and waiting for help...
although its only a short journey down from 22nd floor to 1st floor,
but i felt so much...
so much that i want to cry..

michelle and I ran down without informing our parents, cuz we only want to kpo in the first place, end up the entire building was evacuated.
so we went to this uncle and borrow phone. quite a funny conversation

" uncle, can i borrow ur phone? i need to tell my parents im downstairs already"
" i don't have phone wor."
" BUT I GOT HANDPHONE"
michelle and i was like ==
dad and mom didnt pick up their phone..
then we run back to lobby, and saw aunty sharon!
she saw mom was looking anxiously for us, and my grandma is climbing down step by step and bueh tahan already.
michelle and I ran all the in but the opposite side,
there are 2 stairs at both end.
i ran to the opposite side but michelle stupidly ran up ==
i saw my grandma, wa, heng ar i got 2 maid for her to lean on..
wanted to carry her down but my mom suddenly start screaming because my sister is not with me.
end up i ran to the other side of the stairs and look for michelle.
ran all the way up and i can't find her, got so pissed by her stupidity.

nvm, cut those grandmother stories.
so the entire family was at ground floor, EXCEPT FOR POTTER ):
was sweating like ==

i started looking for uncle will, then guess what
aunty sharon told me he went to get his camera to shoot.
we're like ?!>!?!!>?!!!!?!!??!?
still got the mood to shoot~

my grandma started chatting with her friend, some aunties at dont know which floor.
my parents started talking abt their pubs ==
and i was carrying pepper( uncle will's schnauzer) and all those kids from idk where came and kajiao.
so many random things la..

michelle and I ran to the place and look up.
FIRE BURNINGS.OOHH MINEEEE
then suddenly window of 19th floor breaks and glass chip is dropping down..
we didnt realise and my dad is like PULL US AWAY.
strong daddy (:

i don't want to criticize the efficiency of malaysia fire fighter and police anymore.
i guess there's no point,as if they will improve and change.

so we wait till like 12+ approaching 1..
the lift is still not activated..
granny's leg is very pain, so my maids started massaging for her..
end up, THE SECURITY GUARD saw and started massaging for my grandma.
LOL
LAUGH LIKE MAD SIA.

so my first day home ended up this way ==
spoil my plans la
wanted to go L'amour to visit my dan korkor one lor.

haha, btw, golden retriever that we were planning to adopt end up to be a dog.
so we call it off..
and and
michelle is getting a toy poodle!
im getting a white terrier, or schnauzer better?
hmms still considering!
but i will definitely buy a dog instead of bitch,
and i will definitely name him BANANA.

END OF 2.1

2010-08-05T08:53:00.000-07:00

Last day of sch!
it marks the end of 2.1!!!!!
OMG.
2.1 HAS ENDED
TIME FLEW~

well, it actually flash through so fast that i could barely imagine it
its like, DONE, GONE, OVER!

it's always been stressful and hard on us,
everything got SQUEEZED together due to YOG.

it's over, yes it is!

i wanna say i love all my friends very much.
i didnt blog about my birthday but i really enjoy them very much.
celebrations with all my girls, cards, gifts, free meals and etc
LOL. gain weight again lor KNS.

mood was rather down the past few weeks, right after my birthday.
some friendship stuffs and also, relationships.

boyfriends are not important to me, but friends are.
i really treasures friendship alot, ALOT.
relationship.. nahh.. there is whole bunch of guys out there.
no need to worry LOL.

SO.. didn't end up with a good ending this time round, AGAIN.
but, we're friends la..
still friends (:

friends last, couples doesn't.
so true isn't it?

ohh
and i was rather sad i didn't receive message from 2 of my ex this time.
i was expected/waiting for 2 of them to text me.
but none did.
so sad T.T
nehh mind..

going back home tomorrow,uncle william is picking us up!
woot!
i will disturb him all the way abt photography!

nth much to update,
just that, i screwed my Human Health&Disease Termtest today.
25% gone.

i'm not easily affected by things,
but not all..
i'm still quite sensitive to certain things,
so i would do and wouldn't mind to sacrifice ANYTHING, just to prevent it from happening.

well, things didn't get that bad la.
everything is fine (: PRAISE THE LORD!

PS/ I miss those days, we were having so much fun.
but we're so awkward now, we barely talk nor meet up..
somehow, i hope all these things didn't happen, maybe we're still good friends now..

so down

2010-07-31T06:04:00.000-07:00

悄悄話 - 劉紓妤

眼淚常常不聽話　因為我們都曾經很傻
太多的虛假　太多人很掙扎
太多傷痕被留下

感情闖了禍　我會陪伴你度過
面對無解的明天　不再軟弱
時間犯了錯　但我不許你寂寞
朋友讓愛很簡單　不再沉默

或許心情很复雜　太多說不出的話
秘密在心中萌芽　問題找不到解答
我永遠都在這裡　聽著你說　悄悄話

也許追不上變化　也許世界真的那麼大

感情闖了禍　我會陪伴你度過
面對無解的明天　不再軟弱
時間犯了錯　但我不許你寂寞
朋友讓愛很簡單　不再沉默

我們都有太多牽挂　〔太多牽挂〕
太多說不出的話
秘密在心中萌芽　問題找不到解答
我永遠都在這裡　聽著你說

當你需要勇氣　我就在這裡
心和心沒有距離

或許心情很复雜　太多說不出的話
秘密在心中萌芽　問題找不到解答
我永遠都在這裡　聽著你說　悄悄話

Just wanna share this song with you guys.
i don't think many people would know.
but it tells my current feeling now.
like totally.

so screwed

2010-07-22T09:19:00.001-07:00

everything is so screwed.
and i'm the one.

im a failure in everything..
pure loser..

i feel so bad towards you girls..
i'm the worst friend on earth

all these things dont worth your tears.
like so screwed. everything.

(:

2010-07-15T06:13:00.000-07:00

i just want to say,
life is great!
simply because things is getting better!
like everything?
haha

sounds as if im in love!
but im not lahhh.
maybe? i don't know either!
i just think that everything on earth is so nice so wonderful now!

Well, i really love my friends (:
i've started receiving presents already (:
then some of my friends asked me,
" WEII what do you want for birthday?"

i gave rather simple and standard answers
I WANT CARDS AND GREAT LIFE!

i wanted to share some jokes today!
but i forget already!
i remember they're really funny!

had medical electronic labtest today!
PRAISE THE LORD!
as i wished!
but i hope it goes smoothly..
only if it was my wishful thinking, my answer all wrong how =.=

btw, im going home ltr (:
HOME, KL!
for earlier bd dinner with family!
19th birthday.
sounds like im turning 20 soon.
im so old!
don't have any more excuse to play already..

i hope things gets better,
and btw,
LIFE IS GREAT NOW! (Y)

PS:/ i didn't want this happen, but it still did..
all i have to do is to control myself (:
everything will be fine soon..

SO HAPPY

2010-07-10T07:04:00.000-07:00

I JUST WANT TO SHARE AND SHOUT OUT LOUD TO EVERYONE!
I'VE COMPLETED MY " MAJOR PROJECT" !!
im so proud of myself!!

it's the very first time i actually did this.
like for the past 19years!

i shall not say more (:
i can't wait for monday!!

medical electronic labtest on thurs.
let's pray hard my circuit works!
i want LAB3 AND LAB4!
no LAB 1 OR LAB2 please!

I'm so gonna make you cry!

YAWNS.

2010-07-04T00:50:00.000-07:00

super yawns.
Molecular genetics lab test tmr,
Emaths3 quiz tmr.

and hell,
MEDICAL ELECTRONICS QUIZ ON THURS.
HELL?
KNS.
i hate this sub to the core..
and another bad news,
MEDICAL ELECTRONICS LABTEST NEXT WEEK.
how great ehh!?!
T_T

michelle was back on thursday night..
and mom ask her to bring back about 500 for me!!
i thought my mom forget abt me already sia..
2 weeks already.. LOL
love mom to the max!
my mom calculated siaa..
will be going back on the 16th-19th for earlier celebration of birthday with family..
so from now to 16th is 2weeks!
JUST NICE.
yawns.
19th birthday. don't sound good
not a good number.
walao eh.

btw, i don't understand why this sem's school fees is more ex than the past.
8.4k
previous 2 sem is around 7k?
weirddd

nehhmind

had eclipse with babies on friday night at J8
haha.
they say im making alot of noise.
but hor, i came out with a conclusion..
watch eclipse is like watching porn?
LOL
it's quite boring actually,
but it's like a comedy, so funny throughout
especially the part where bella punch jacob, and she broke her hand
LOL. that's the climax i guess?
the fighting scene wasn't that fun and thrilling
like everything is expected. ( i roughly flip the book)

waiting for breaking dawn~

siannn
elaine just said she wanna follow me back to KL this sem break
WE'RE GONNA HAVE ALOT OF FUN!!
lets drag others along too LOL.

off to revise, yawns again. so sleepy

time flew

2010-06-26T01:07:00.000-07:00

time past so fast..
it's going to be the 2nd week of the 2nd term of this semester.
LOL

so many things to do..
biomedical physics debate not completed.. few more videos to go..
doing research all these while.. got a feeling the next time i buy my con need to buy 500degree one already..

thank god molgen project is done..
phew..

and for the whole of this week, i was struggling with my BRD.
thank god its over.
really. i dunwan to think abt it again..
reduced them to 3 jumper wires.
and tada!
problem comes..

i didn't know how to connect those jumper wires.
i mean, NO INSTRUCTION WAS GIVING AT ALL.
called teacher..

" no bending of jumper wire"
" no cutting across component and donuts"

its hard u see..
and the drill size..
i dunwan to say any more..

anyway, i'm not going to scold vulgarities anymore.
that's a promise.
PRAISE THE LORD!

got so pissed on thursday.
like many things all come together =.=
bad things come all in one shot
come to think of it,
if giving in doesn't help, the best way is to ignore.

watching some shows now..
realise now adays taiwan commercial shows like to invite those rich spoilt bred to their show.
and start to show off their family background, watches, necklace, cars and more.
does it make any sense?
i wonder if i grow up in taiwan will i turn out to be so ignorance like them?
i wouldn't say my family is rich.
but my parents can afford to provide me luxuries which is not necessary.

they were saying how much their allowance are,
what is the most expensive things they've bought.

almost everyone one of them have got a car as birthday present when they are 18 or 19
BMW, MERZ, very common brands we will hear when people are showing off
branded watch at 17, branded bags at 16.
come to think of it..
my parents bought me a car when i was 18 too
but it was just a toyota.
i've got a montblanc watch when i was 17
coach bag at 16.
but my sis bought her LV bag at 19 sia
so am i going to get one soon? lol

all these things are not necessary for me
cars, i dont drive often
bag, did i carry more than 3 time per year?
i think watch la.. i wear everyday.

for me, i think if you're really so rich and high class,
you wouldn't even go to the show la
you just want people to look at u right?
and i think people that is real rich is very humble.
we can feel their classy from the moment we see them.
so yea..
i dunno what have taiwan turn into.
i lousy country that i would never want to return.
sometimes, i hate myself for holding her passport.
feel so shitty when people have negative comments on her but i can do nothing, because it's so true.

anyway..
im currently doing some very stressful things..
brain cells keep dying!!
gotta finish it before next week..
all my quizzes and labtest is coming in like no body's business..

anyway, my termtest results aint that good..
i've got 1 A only.. the rest is Bs
but okay lah..
better than people whom are so confident and go around showing off.. end up result like shit..
i need to buck up to pull up my gpa for last sem.
thanks to that ungraded OTCM.

okok..
going out soon.
bye readers (:

world cup fever

2010-06-19T02:30:00.000-07:00

aruggg..
holiday is ending soon..
like so fast la.. 2 weeks is shoooooo.. gone!
dyed my hair 2days ago.
2nd time this year..
i think i dye 4 times per year sia.. one term once LOL.
2 years already..
i scared i dio cancer sia..
better reduce to 2time per year..
this time is.. lighter color..

anyway..
i love PARK SHIN HYE!
yea no more pets..
its PARK SHIN HYE'S TIME NOW!

she accompanied me the entire holday siaa..
and Lee Hong Gi!

lol..
and one more thing!!
WORLD CUP.
OMG.
I DUNNO WHAT THE **** THEY ARE PLAYING SIA.
SPAIN CAN LOSE TO SWISS,
GERMANY CAN LOSE,
ENGLAND AND USA DRAW.
like, WHAT ELSE WON'T HAPPEN NEXT EH?
TELLING ME THE CHAMPION THIS TIME MIGHT BE CHINA?
oh china didnt get in..
all these scores lead to alot of misery already sia..
losing money T_T
dad lost 3k already..
HORRIBLE WORLD CUP.

anyway, will be back to sg tmr.
early in the morning yawnnss!
next term will be a fast one ehhs..
due to Youth olympic..
so i have 1 month of study break.

and my PCB is not done yet
GOSH.
horrible.. so stressed!

anyway.. my mom say i drive too fast..
really mehh?
i gotta reduce my speed..
she very worried..
OKAY.
BYE READERS

PS/ I REALLY MISS YOU!

by god's grace

2010-05-23T05:02:00.000-07:00

i just want to say,

my life is supposed to be ended 12 years ago.
to even breathe one sip now, it's by god's grace.

thank you jesus, thank you for loving my family.

i can't seem to see the path in front of me clearly now..
please lead me.

dear friends out there, thanks for everything.
i meant it..
don't worry babies, i won't kill anyone right now.
but it's difficult to say in the future you see..
because i know i've reached my limits for her.
maybe even very minor things she do now will piss me,
i hate her.
that's the conclusion.

on a happier note, i finally went to collect my Jay Chou's VOL.10!
WOOT HOO!~

my term test is coming soon..
yet to start any hiong revision..
second year in TP, i love my sch (:
besides for a small group of people ( which doesn't really matter )

bye readers,
i gotta start my hiong revision~

great changes happening soon

2010-05-16T04:36:00.000-07:00

great changes happening soon..
i shall not say more before anything is decided and confirmed..
i've yet to decide anything..

this will cause a great change in my life,
i don't know if i'm making the right decision.
but for what i see now, it's probably the best decision.

the best way to minimize hurt that might lead to anyone..
argg..

forget it..

mom's birthday was yesterday,
i was here..
i wasn't there with her..
she didn't want to celebrate it outside.
so they had simple dinner at home..
my mom didn't even eat dinner thanks to someone..
someone whom she loved, but the one that hurt her the most.
on her birthday..
i heard my mom crying..
fuck. i can do nothing..
i still have to reply to some morons that keep on sending me some extremely low-eq msg.
which i didn't reply in the end.

fuck, i don't know how to express my feelings.
i remembered, i once told mommy.
" i will kill her one day, and i will go to jail"
i really find it pathetic you know..
for saying this kind of things..

but, come to think of it.
for those that couldn't realise and refuse to admit their mistake.
i find you pathetic, like so damn pathetic.
live in your own world, ignorance, proud, ill bred, and with fucking attitude.
i find you pathetic, really.

yesterday night, after i got home..
bathed..
i got so bored..
so i starting calling everyone..

i went out for night strolling at 11pm, with hui min.
okay i know its really random..
so both of us starting thinking where we should go..
we end up in Lorong Ah Soo..
my previous house..
really change alot..
been like 4years?
the place i used to live has been demolished, a flat ground there.
i don't know bus service 45 goes there.
like since when?!

so we walk and walk.. walk to a park..
maplewood park..
i think that's the name..
so both of us started talking about the past..

i held a bbq for her birthday there before,
we played badminton there before, yea, almost everyday after PSLE.
alot of memories..
good ones, bad ones, humorous ones, idiotic ones, and sentimental ones..

took cab home, dropped hui min at her place..
she's the first person that i shared my plan with..
we talk about the past,
we used to be on the phone,for very long hours..
both of us kept quiet, after awhile and ask,
" OI, you still there or not?"
lol..
sounds so stupid.. but thats life la..

almost talk every night during my P6 life,
we got into the same secondary school,
sadly different class..
saw her almost everyday, but didn't talk all the time..
we even stop talking to each other for afew months.. or even a year?

we got into same poly..
weird, i kind of found back a sense of belonging.
like back to 6 years ago..
very pure, innocent friendships..

yea.. it's been 6years..

i randomly visit my exes's blogs,
i realise that most of them is very happy now,

why am i so miserable now?
i don't know..
maybe i'm causing all these things myself..

i don't know..

for once, i hope i can go back to the past..
let it be 6 years ago..
i miss the feeling..

i realise i don't smile at home now..
who to smile at?
i told baby before, sometime, she's the first person i talk to every morning..
you guys can talk to daddy, mommy, siblings, grandparents every morning before you leave the house..
i don't. because i don't even have the chance.
my mouth is sealed..

sometime, i really find myself worthless.

i love you, the best way of loving you is to help you.
but im useless, i can do nothing..

tired

2010-04-26T07:20:00.000-07:00

just realised that i've not been blogging for so long.
almost a month..
amazing!!
my blog is like half dead, or already dead??

hmms..
well, saw that my last post is on 2april.
who knows, alot of things changed after 2nd april
ya, i couldn't imagine that so many things could happen..

basically i was working,
yea, you guys will say,
" you work? yayaya i know i know, sit and play computer rite?"
i can no longer laugh and joke and say
"HEY, DONT PLAY LA.."

i will get very pissed, and fuck you up side down.
i don't wanna mention more..
really..

alot of things..
you wouldn't understand.
sometime, i don't know what i want either.
i don't know what is my next move,
i don't know what is my aim..
i can't see my future..

i really want to help mom..
when i see her so tired, so restless..
getting older and older..
heartaches.

part of me don't want to face the bloody fact,
the other part of me really wanna do something for her..
im in a fucking dilemma status.

you know,
alot of scene flash through my mind..
one of it is,
i keep asking myself,
" what am i doing now?"
i even think that studying now is like fucking wasting my time
like what's the point?
i cannot find any more reasons to study you know.
you guys study for passion, for future, for whatever shit.
what about me?

told mom the same thing yesterday ( yea i was back there)
she just ask me to hang on..
yea.. hang on..

i don't know how to express my feelings..
2010, i happened to know alot of things.
alot of great changes happened..
so stunned, so lost..
forget it..

happy birthday xx,
i hope u enjoyed the meals today!!
it burn a bloody big hole to my pocket la!!

love you forever machi!

I can't think of any title

2010-04-02T01:28:00.001-07:00

i seldom blog at this timing, this very normal timing..
i thought i'd always blog at like 2am?3am?
cuz today overslept..
couldn't wake up so didn't go to mom's office..

12pm mom started waking me up..
i don't know why, just don't have the urge to wake up..
don't wanna open my eyes..
guess she gave up, and left..LOL.

yesterday night went prawning..
end up like some kind of gathering?
god brother from malacca came over, with his friend.
start to work under my family starting from today..
okay la he's here since last year.. but u know.. teenagers tend to make mistakes.
so he was sent back, now mom let him come back again..
hope he is more mature now, don't make really stupid mistakes again.
had a short talkie session with jem while i was prawning.
kinda confidential so shall not post it here.

home about 2plus.. approaching 3 i guess..
wash up, change to my pyjamas and ready to sleep..
suddenly heard dad screaming over the phone..
got so shock and faster went to check it out..
he's really drunk..
but some idiot choose to call at the wrong timing lor..
so kena until quite jialat sia that idiot..

ohh yeaah!
i mention in the previous post about PETS and DCW.
now i really hope she is single. please dont go steady with that DCW leader.
i thought he look quite handsome in the show sia..
but after that, when i read some articles and saw pictures online.
OMG, i really take back my words sia..
really.. no offense to DCW's fans.

so yawnns.
i had a really weird dream..
for the very first time, i really wanna go back to taiwan,
my hometown, where i belong.
i know its really random,
i mean my friends around me know that i hate that bloody country alot alot.
so much that i don't wanna go back for like so many years..
but..
i dunno why..

arhh.. forget it.
i won't go back so soon..
at least for the next 2 years..
at least complete my diploma first.. then we shall see..

BTW, im car-less now.
someone borrow it when i was not around.
kinda fed up.
forget it.

我還留在黑暗中守候,你卻已經遠遠離開
有過的快樂我都記得,回憶還旋轉著, 愛怎麼停了..
我想,我們都累了..

NEW LOVE!

2010-03-26T11:24:00.000-07:00

was back in sg since tuesday..
leaving on next monday..
well.. i really enjoy myself these few days.
the joy that my girls brought me (:

frankly speaking, i wasn't in a very good mood recently..
alot of things, like all in one shot..
i happened to know how ugly human nature is, i realise alot of disgusting things about the people around me, those i used to trust, play and spend time with..

if all human beings can do is to hurt and lie to each other,
then i don't want any friends, i don't want any kind of relationships with anyone else.
because this is disgusting, when you realise everything is not in the way u thought it will be, and somehow u can't take it.
if thats the case, i don't need anyone.

i hate hypocrites, i hate bastards, i hate realistic people.
they really make me puke.
i hate them to the bloody core.

yea, everyone is talking about 2012- end of the world.
i hope it's true, not that im some sicko that want the world to end.
but, come to think of it.
i guess lord couldn't take this too, because he realise the humans are ugly and selfish.
he want this to end, he want a new world. with a new start.
isn't this the best way out?

well, you see..
in between humans, we quarrel, we fight, we betray, we're extremely selfish.
in between countries, they have wars, they push each other down, they wanna own the whole world.
what have the world come to?
a world full of hypocrites and devil?
is that the world that god created?
no. i don't think so.

even the closest beside you will eventually become your enemy one day.
even the one you are facing everyday,
your friends, your family members.
are all these happenings trying to prove me that human is selfish?
are they trying to tell me that i shouldn't trust anyone AT ALL?

the one that never ever betray me before is nonetheless, my dog.
its kinda funny eh?
like what other's have said, even a dog is better than human beings.
it's like so true to me now, at this point of time.

forget it..

went to MB today with the girls.
had fun.
but it was SUPER HOT.
im super tanned now..
slighly burnt..
PAIN~

fell in love with PETS recently,
WAIT!
its not animal la..
WAIT!
its not the PETS COURSEBOOK we used to have in primary school too!

she's a female artist in taiwan.
okay i'm random.
i was really crazy over rainine yang for the past few months.
then now PETS.
search almost all the videos about her,
favourite her wiki, blog, fan page.
anyway i'm a member already. LOL.
her songs are repeating nonstop in my itunes and ipod.
can't wait for her album..
by the way, her name is 曾沛慈
from 星光2班. ranked 6th.
fuck la, why 6th?!

i re-watched her one and only drama like for the 4th time already..
so cute and blur.
read alot of similar comment from her fans,
how could someone not fall in love with her?
SO TRUE LA.
anyway, because of her, i'm sorta in love with DCW too
erm, DCW is 東城衛, a band la
they've sang a few songs together.
but i don't really get a few things,
some said that PETS already joined DCW,
some said it was just rumours,
some said PETS went steady with DCW leader.
so many questions marks sia.

i hope she film more shows..
then i don't have to keep on watching the same show.

i can be a really crazy fans lehh..
female one change super fast..
but male one, JAY CHOU AND GODFREY HSAO will never ever die in my heart!!!

haix..
i sleep at 4am everyday..
must tune my hour clock back already..

goodnight readers, i'm off to watch related videos of PETS!

life's great?

2010-03-03T09:22:00.000-08:00

hmms..
time now is 1.23am.
WOW.
had a movie and went pasar malam walk walk..
watched Percy Jackson And The Lightning Thief.
nice movie indeed!
anyway, expected it was luke la.
like can tell?
no?

i dunno what's wrong with me..
i cant help but think abt the past,like nonstop..
what if i tried to stop him?
if i talk nicely to him?
if we talk things out?
so many scenarios..

forget it..
no contact for like 4months?
how can he feel nothing about it?
like totally nothing?
so im completely out of his fucking life now.
i thought that is what i wanted long time back?
why am i feeling so miserable now..
fuck this feeling la.

anyway, the best thing of holiday is i dont have to go to the fucking school and see the fucking face.
already fed up enuf still have to listen to fucking NONSENSE all day long.
everyday new update.

i hope year 2 is a new start, really.
BRAND NEW START PLEASE.

FINALLY OVER~

2010-02-26T03:31:00.000-08:00

HOME SWEET HOME!

main examination is finally over!
first paper was nightmare already..
maths.. okay..
i had plannings with friend before that..
question B4 and C1 just skip..
save the rest of the time to ensure the front part all correct..
so if get 78marks + our CA mark we will still get A..
didnt expect qns B3 to be like shit already..
did but dunno if answer will be correct..
so screwed..

EDEVCKT..
expected, last question anyhow draw sia..
just draw 2 op amp and connect afew resistors..
the rest shud be alright.

Dfund2 is okay, well.. last question....

Biochem i do until very smooth and fluent sia..
its not like as if i know how to answer the quesion..
dunno one i just write nonsense
u know, better than leaving blanks lor..

had lunch with the babes at cathy..
jap food..
me and saylee eat ALOT SIA..
2 of us ate like $42 worth of food..
ahwan and xx eat like 25 only..
half of us?
LOL..

then go didi house and visit him..
out of sudden i suddenly think he grew up alot sia..
after that heavy illness..
good boy good boy study hard!

after that took 1135pm de plane back here..
bloody hell delay almost half an hour..

slept till 12pm and had lunch with family outside..
went mom office awhile and went for grocery shopping.
dinner had fish head steamboat at home
now chasing cruel temptation with mom.
so ok, i'll stop here!

CONGRATS TO ALL OF US!
WE ARE FREE~
YEAR 2 SOON~

new year!

2010-02-16T07:38:00.000-08:00

hmms.. so was back home..
new year was really...h
100+ boxes of oranges
about 50kg of bagua
dunno how many hundreds of angbao my parents was bao-ing..
i got help them to put money in sia.
i know who get the most, and who got the least!

okayy dont say first..
12 feb, friday.
parent's year end dinner, it was fun!
we sit at the front table, right infront of the stage.
so i can see the performance clearly..
funny sia.. the emcee was lame laa..
then eat eat eat eat nonstop, got my favourite roast golden piggy.
so crispy and nice!
everytime go for dinner i wait for this dish sia, if no pig sure budget one lor.
means the person kanasai alr..
LOL
singers and managers went up to the stage to sing~
to get angbao from ahma haha
male got medium flower, i dont really know how they calculate the bonus, but shud add afew hundred to their salary bah..
female one got crown~!

home at 9+ with kathy and mich..
we didnt follow dad's car back after the dinner as we went to buy movie ticket~
72 tenants of prosperity!
SIBEI FUNNY LA..
LAUGH UNTIL LIKE WAN TO DIE ALR..
home at 2am,
slept..

13 feb, chinese new year eve!
mom wake me in the morning..
" helen (her sect) called just now, she said ginny ( potter's wife, currently stay in mom's office as potter might rape her anytime before she is fully matured and my parents fucking believed in NO-2-DOG-UNDER-SAME-ROOF theory. she gotta stay there till she give birth and my house got more than 2 dogs, poor girl..) 's asshole is bleeding!"
WA I WAKE SIA AND GO AROUND SPREADING!!
soon she can come home ler..!!
chiong to office with mom, sayang my love and then left at 2+..
start to feel weird..
so went to sleep..
till my mom knock in and wake me up..
reunion dinner..
ate abit,
rest..
start vomitting..
gamble awhile..
slept quite early and wake during midnight to vomit and shit, nonstop sia.
wake mom up and tell her i muscleache..
she patt patt me to bed and next morning, 初一 i fever sia
so i skip the whole day..

初二
fully recover!
then gamble..
win, lose, win, lose..
dunno if win or lose..
mahjong noises at my place till 3am still have..
not me of course.. i sleeping soundly wake up go pee still can hear..LOL..

today..
had lunch outside with family and korkor,
went grocery shopping, home, realise potter eat my money!
he dio slapped LOL..
then study awhile, i meant it, its really AWHILE.
watch show, dinner is steamboat!
super full..
uncle william came just now,
he chat with dad..
i stay in the room and watch tv..

anyway..
nothing much la..
just another normal new year celebrations..
just that..

im really proud of myself this year..
1) mom wanted to give angbao in CHEQUE, first time in my life
2) i rejected it..
3) didnt take money from mom this time, not at all
4) didnt take money from ahma this time
5) HAVEN GET ANY SCOLDINGS FROM DAD YET!!!!

i really grow up le..
im proud of myself..
money aint that important to me anymore..
not that tempting..
mama was happy!
thats all i wanted..

HOME SWEET HOME~

2010-02-11T19:03:00.001-08:00

FIRSTLY, I WOULD LIKE TO WISH ALL HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!
its 2010 already oh man!
time flew~

hahahahahha..
hmms..
sch was really fun yesterday, it was the last day of the semester( for me)
cuz went off after the last period of lesson, which is biochemistry tutorial.
haha, i thought he will hold the lesson till like 5?
then at 4+ i already cant sit still..
very scared i late sia..
but im really glad that i went for his class, i learn the entire topic7 sia, at least i got one chapter lesser to study for biochem.

my dreams are right lor,
i told baby i dreamt of her getting full marks for all the quizes,
SHE REALLY SEH!
she was so happy~
im happy for her too,
anyway my quiz2 result aint bad too,
i think it helps to pull up my overall la..
but its like 5% only lehh..
so my main exam must buck up!

edevckt actually i want to aim for A one leh,
then because lab2 i didnt do well, or i shud say i dunnno how to do sia..
so overall pull down alot lor..
my main exam need to like score fullmarks to get A leh!
which is u know quite impossible..
but if i do well in this paper,a B+ is possible.
Dfund2 die also must aim A, Emaths2 also die must A
in order to score A for both, i calculated both paper need 75 and above sia..
biochem i dare not think..
but at least i know i will do better than hap ,
comprog.. walao eh.. bloody hell i think will pull down my gpa lor..
and otcm.. walao ehhs.. i missed 2 quizes, failed one, although the test i took on wed was ok, but still scared pull down my gpa sia..
u know why the otcm test i can do?
its because of 雨爱！
okay its lame laa.. but really leh!
me and baby is like singing in the lib,
i opened concert with daxuan also,
didnt really study..
but weird eh,
when i walk out of lib,
AT THE SECOND WHEN THE AUTOMATIC DOOR IS OPEN FOR ME, I TOOK FIRST STEP OUT,
雨爱 played!
there is some kind of event outside the lib la..
then baby and i look at each other and smile,
IT GONNA MADE MY DAY LOR!
okay nonsense, doesnt make sense.. haha

yesterday nver really jam,
but malaysia custom jam, as in the screening part.
all shud know why, i dont think i need to mention,
u know, chinese new year, "THEY" need to earn extra money.

reached home at 1am,
had supper with the peeps,
home at 3+
slept at 4am sharp.
wake at 850am.
LOL,play with potter and now blogging with lappy, in the living room, watching tv, and potter lying beside me,
life is simply great!

later on needa go office with mama..
ehhs oh yea tonight got year end dinner for their business..
heard from mom's sect this year emcee will be william!
which means fun lor!
then got this singing thingy la..
like if any employee go to the stage and sing, my ahma will give one angpao..
WA I WAN TO SING ALSO LEHH..
雨爱！lol..

HAPPY CNY PEOPLE~
LOVE YOU GUYS~

wa i stress sia, main exams coming!

phew...!

2010-02-05T06:46:00.000-08:00

had biochem quiz today!
LIKE OMG FINALLY!
after bio paper is like NOT STRESS ANYMORE even though the main exams are approaching!
anyway..
im really very particular on something.
okay im a christian, i shouldnt really believe and rely on those things
but somehow, if red THINGY( shud know what im referring to) is on me,
i think everything is so much easy and fluent..
is that like just own feelings or smth?
in psyco view it is, but in religious view leh?
I DUNO LAH..
ahma said she got afew for me for the coming new year!
means my main exam must be very fluent LOL..

had maths quiz3 too, overall its alright la ONLY LAST QUESTION DAMN SCREWED UP.
forget it..
ah!
forget to mention the importnat stuff,
I FINISHD MY SENSOR FOR LIGHT LE!
actually i got it done on monday already..
but that fucking thing work differently in different spot, as in brightness..
so i got to tune the bloody sensor thingy..
helped ahwan and i rmb telling her alot of things certain part must becareful,
WOW she actually made the mistake even though i've reminded her..

anyway,
tmr gonna be a FINE day!
i will be at home the entire day?
siann..
sunday is packed!

CNY IS COMING..
WHCH MEANS...
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I'M GOING HOME!

ON THURSDAY! YAY!
btw,
" A reminder to all students, CHEATING IS A VERY SERIOUS OFFENSE, those that are caught cheating will be SEVERELY DEALT WITH"
isnt ths familiar?
we saw it almost at th back of our papers,
TAKE NOTE hor..
dont CHEAT during exams, if not dio CAUGHT will be very JIALAT.

PS:/
i know we can overcome this together..
i didnt want to let u know cuz i know u dontwant me to worry..
i chose to keep quiet..
i dunno what im doing now,
i hope things will be better..
i mean.. IT WILL be better..

only when i realise, the ugly side of human nature is really ugly

2010-01-29T20:00:00.000-08:00

really a very hectic and busy semester for us,
well, alot of things has been done! (: thank god!

hand in my comprog project ler
although there are afew errors..
haha teacher still ask why i didnt run my programme before showing him..
i forget mahh..
but overall its okay!
he say as long as i hand in the correct hardcopy for him he will pull up my marks!
he asked alot of question lor..
anyway i managed to answer them (:
so now comprog i hand in my hard copy next tue i dun have to attend anymore!!
i still got a feeling comprog will be the subject that pull down my GPA this time sia..
i aim quite high lehh..

forget it!
i gotta study very hard for main exam!
i cannot let biochem and comprog pull my gpa down sia!
i will really cry hard!
I SUPER STRESS NOW..
biochem quiz next week!
OMG
i hate all BIO-RELATED SUB!
always pull my marks down!
ALOT LOR!
not abit!
i can score about the same for other sub with my friends..
but come to bichem..
WALAO EH,
they A, i like max B?
always alot of difference de..

ARUGGGG..
and edevckt also..
i dunwan to think sia..
think ler i sad..
but im glad that i've got good lab teacher that talk to me..
i was really surprise that he say this lahh..
whatever he say really encourage me alot alot..
i really wanna do well in the mini project..
hopefuly will pull up scores..

anyway,
very worried for my didi..
he got into Anderson JC.
but he dont like..
first day of orientation he went, left early
2nd day which was yesterday he text me at about 9+,
he said he hate the school,he is going to pon school till he transfer to another school..
so he didnt go school..
had a huge fight with my uncle in the morning for not going to school..
boys at this age is rebellious lahh..
but i dunno whats with AJ that he hate so much..
somemore so near our homes..
easier for me to find him also..
he appeal for ny,sa and nj i think..
he really rather get into lousier sch, further ones, than AJ..
still talking to him..
he even say he rather commit suicide than going to AJ.. walao eh got so serious meh..
appealing fail how.. private school mehh?
WORRIED.WORRIED.WORRIED.

yesterday is dar's birthday!
send a message and she say she thought i forget abt it..

another thing is regarding my best friend..
i can tell he's still down..
but i can't do anything.......
i feel so lousy.. feel so useless..

watch tv yesterday.. and i teared...
i seldom get so emotional..
i saw a dog... he can't walk due to an accident..
his front legs were broken, thus, being cut off..
his determination of surviving is strong..
he is now able to walk with 2 legs..
but he often fell...
i got so touch and sad that i actually teared infront of the TV...

i wan to close my eye and survive through these 2 weeks,
then home sweet home..
although i gotta mug and mug and mug for my main exam!
it really feel better at home!
only think i scared i cant concentrate..
u know..
i wan to go out..
i wan to accompany mom for facial, buying cloth with ahma,driving out with daddy.
my skills still gotta improve..

i tell mama i grow up le,
i donwant angbao money this year..
but im thinking..
I FEEL LIKE CHANGING CAR..
ok,im contradicting..
nvm..

preparing to go out soon~

i realized, the ugly side of human nature is really ugly...
we should learn to admit mistakes, not pushing it to others instead.
put ourselves into other's shoe..

HEATSTROKE+SUNBURNT!

2010-01-23T04:15:00.000-08:00

Went fishing with 03 peeps ytd after school..
somehow wanna relief my stress..
at bedok jetty at about 1+..
the sun is WOW!
and guess what we dabao there...
FISH MEAT BEEHOON.
walao eh i regret sia!
under that heat eat that.. WALAO EH..

it was really fun lahh...
swing even fish dao crab and sotong egg?
LOL
and some dead corals..
haha..

me, mav, dhashini and jun ru left at 5..
i drop them at some bus stop and then cab all the way home..
mom saw me and SCREAM!
why u tanned until like that!!
why become so red!
i so tired that i dunno how to answer her sia..
just walk into the room and bathe..
after that.. while i use towel to wipe my body dry...
I feel some kind of sharp pain..
then wipe my face..
WALAO EH
PAIN UNTIL LIKE KNN @q%$w&$^$*&^w$%&*&(*&e%wew3Q4
then headache and no energy..
mom say dio heatstroke..
had scrape therapy.. 刮痧(gua sha) in chinese..
my back now go nice "tatto" lor..
lol..

anyway..
so bored now adays..
stress and stress and stress...
like my life is damn meaningless..

i need to learn to save money,
i need to learn to be thrifty..
that day when me and ahwan was on our way home..
she told me she very look forward for the coming chinese new year celebration..
because all the relative will gather at her grandma house,
and the whole atmosphere is like very lively and fun lor..
catch up with the cousins and so on..
but frankly speaking..
i dont really like new year celebration..
firstly i dont have relatives gathering at grandma's place.
my grandma stays with me, one and only.
relatives are at taiwan, dont expect me to go back.
i guess i dont like chinese new year celebration is because all i see is parents spending money nonstop.
at malaysia, pubs during new year is either closed or be mentally prepared to loss money.
all the PRs,singers, DJ, bartenders, managers went back to hometown for their new year.
who work sia?
then they have afew pubs, 4 handphone shops, flowershop, tidbits and grocery tradings..
over 150 workers..
all i see is,give angbao,boxes and boxes of oranges..
year end dinners leh..
walao..
so i dont like new year..
i even told mom i dunwan to get ang bo money this year..
dunno..
last time me and mich will like start discussing how much shud we ask from them 2 weeks before new year..
eh last year is 1k hor,so this year 1.5k la..
but when i say i dunwan angbao money this year..
michelle was like, dont fake..
and mom was like.. reveal ur true colors!
what u wan?
lv bags? new camera?
walao eh
i might be little bit pampered..
but im definitely not those bloody spoilt brad..(i think)

im on first mask now..
purifiying..
later second one.. whitening..

this few days thought of alot of things..
only guilty people will go around explaining and talk nonsense..
i dont think i have done anything wrong to you..
dont expect me to make any explanation.
i have a clear conscience.
as i said, ure main problem is that you always think that is others let you down, others fault. you never think of if are responsible for any fault or not.
that is ur main problem, think. why will all this happen.
dont always push the blames to others and think that you are always right.

nevermind it doesnt affect me,i dont give a damn.
just that my face is really red now and its very pain la!
mask on even more pain!
okay..
nights readers! (:

mentally prepared..

2010-01-16T22:26:00.000-08:00

today is the last day of free week..
tmr onwards will be, BUSY, STRESS, TIRED..
anyway i gotta start my revision later on..

friday dismiss at 12..
had group discussion with peeps in the lib project room..
after that about 2 left with mav and went amk hub for PL.
not paya lebar, is PEPPER LUNCH..
had my first meal at 4pm. power?
Both of us are like STARVING.
standard.. curry beef rice..
after that went to walk around amk hub with her..
cuz was like bloated la..
passed by g2000,
bought one smart casual shirt for yang,wanted to buy more, but u know,ran out of size..
saw handsome blazer..wanted to get for him too..
well..bo size..
at night pass to him..
his attending wedding dinner tonight..
and he say he is wearing that!
LOL..
my brother is getting more and more handsome!
anyway his busy life gonna start la..
he chose jc path..
good for him,
cuz he is not suitable for poly.. Not that mature I guess
at least jc got teacher pushing them..

so tired laa..
on fb, saw those pic that they had fun over there..
so sad la..
mom was busy..
she used to call me afew times everyday..
this few days either i call back, she say busy at the moment, get me to me soon..
then never get back lor..
i think she is kinda irritating last time..
but now that she dont call..
i miss her lor..
then thurs in sch she suddenly msg me and ask if i ate already
WA I GOT SO EXCITED AND SHOW MY FRIEND THE MESSAGE!
okay. im childish...
went out for dinner ytd with horse..
wanted to buy prawns back..
SUPERMARKET CLOSED.
KNN..
okay..
3pm start revision!

BYE READERS!

PS:/
i think its time i move on..
the fact that you ALREADY left and WILL NOT return..
no point..
i know what ure thinking..
i've cling on to you too long..
i will study hard..
hopefully, we'll be able to meet 3 years later..

BUSY-

2010-01-13T07:21:00.000-08:00

so tired..
really..
mentally and physically.. yea..

briefly update about this week, next week, the week after next week and the last week of the sem before study week..

This week:monday 11/01 = PSPS presentation
tuesday = suppose to be 8-6 for me, but i woke up late.. went for 1pm onwards de class.. home at like 10? cuz i waited for cw till her cds end... do my comprog flowchart till like 12? went down for a walk.. slept at 2am.
wednesday = submission of flowchart and comprog assignment+quiz! stress like hell
thursday = biochemistry practise lab, 9-6 again.
friday =TGIF!
saturday = STUDY AND STUDY FOR UPCOMING QUIZES AND TEST
sunday = same as above

next week:
monday 18/01 = edevckt lab test, PSPS project report submission
tuesday = otcm quiz, lesson from 8-6!
wednesday = comprog lab test (KNN LA)
thursday = BIOCHEMISTRY LAB TEST (KNN AGAIN)
friday = emaths2QUIZ 2
saturday = STUDY AND STUDY FOR UPCOMING QUIZES AND TEST
sunday = same as above

the week after next week:monday 25/01 = normal day, lesson 9-5
tuesday = dfund 2 quiz! COMPROG JAVA CODE! lesson from 8-6!
wednesday = hopefully no need to do anything..
thursday = edevckt quiz!
friday =TGIF!
saturday = STUDY AND STUDY FOR UPCOMING QUIZES AND TEST
sunday = same as above

the week of next next week:
monday 1/02 = normal day 9-5
tuesday = go thru dfund quiz result
wednesday = Hopefully nothing on!
thursday = dfund lab test!
friday = biochemistry quiz
saturday = STUDY AND STUDY FOR UPCOMING QUIZES AND TEST
sunday = same as above

conclusion: STRESS LA!

OMG, JAN 11 ALREADY!

2010-01-11T06:45:00.000-08:00

so Olevel result release!!
my beloved brother score a 9POINT L1R5 RAW!
okay, he's rather dumb la!
wasted!
cause his humans got a bloody B4!
if not!!!
6A1s,1A2,1B4!
L1B4 IS 5
after deducting for L1B4 is 3, and L1R5 is 7
WELL DONE MY LOVE!
i got so nervous this morning!
i know he will do well for sure, i mean not like me la so slack
he did alot of practise since the start of his sec4 life, and he work very hard!
see, his hard work pay off! god bless!

OMG i got so happy in the school today when he msged me!
then his dad( my god dad) msg me
i like spread to the whole class
HEY MY BRO SCORE 9POINT RAW FOR L1R5!
then faris disturb and ask mine!
hmm!

wanted to celebrate with him tonight at his place..
STUPID BOY GO CHALET,
PANGSEH HIS BELOVED SISTERS
~!!!!
i feel so excited!
anyway, today psps presentation.
everything was expected.
btw, i went to sign up a mobile broadband because my hse internet suck big time and i couldnt send file to cw.
okay!
7.2mpbs offer only 35 per month..
worth it laa..

someone just cannot shut her bloody mouth sia...
i wear what also wan to comment..
think i dunno is it..
bloody hell..

forget it!
i love my bro!
im happy!
LOVE YOU JESUS!

happy new year!

2010-01-06T06:26:00.000-08:00

okay.
was back yesterday..
walao..
things i can never imagine happened.
like GG!
firstly,
i skipped school on monday and tue,
so i had a really long weekend,
chiong finish my medical kit for otcm during the long weekends.

who say staying alone without parents is cool and fun??
like shit i tell u.
i got to eat outside almost every meal,
even if eat at home is instant noodle,
sometime lazy or no time to buy groceries.
no fruits.
eat delievery,
extremely UNHEALTHY!
i got to pay ALL the bills by urself.
no matter how busy u are,
u gotta find time,
go to axs machine,
sort out the total balance,
tell ur mother.
then pay them.
and U ALWAYS GOT SO BUSY, THEN FORGET,
then like me lor,
forget to pay before i left this time!
come back home.
WALAO KENA CUT OFF!
thank goodness i've got nice god dad to fetch me to his place!
home now..

ANYWAY,
got back my laptop..
harddisk die!
but forget to tell the technician to buy 320hdd..
he put smaller ones..
nvm..
using windows7 now!
BUT CANT USE MSN,
cuuz mine is pirated one haven upgrade to new one.

skipped biochem lec today to makan with the girls and boys.
then went to free access lab, wanna finish up my dfund project.
didnt do anything lor..
talk and talk and talk..
i haven unpack my luggage yet sia..
room is in a total mess!
time for bed now..
early lesson tmr..
long day again..
will update soon (:

PS/: to someone
WILL YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH FOR LIKE, AT LEAST ONE DAY??
HATE YOU LA BLOODY BITCH

last day of 2009

2009-12-31T06:17:00.000-08:00

okay, today is the last day of 2009.
this year is really a very fast year for me,
like just zoom..
oh and like O level ended for 1 year already,
the juniors complete their Olevels too..
so very fast jan they collecting result,
then admission,
then new life for them (:

so like very fast i year 2 ler..
was quite satisfied with my term test result this time.
i mean, it was alot better than last semester's term test.
yea.
besides bio related ones la..
all knows..
my bio cmi..
glad that i got a C+ this time..
60+..
the rest was abt the same la..
70+ and 80+..
i mean, i wanna let those that look down on me, that thing my result sure lousier than them know what is call shut up and be humble.
never want to compare with me?
now is my turn to shut ur mouth with my result.
feel so good to see the stun look that projected on ur face.
yea i feel great.

i might look slack in school,
i admit i dont and wont study at home.
but comes to exams, that period i will buck up.
dont ever under estimate me.
anyway, isnt that good la.
i mean compare to the rest..
happy new year people!
i hope 2010 is a good start for me!
with the conditon that someone shuts her bloody mouth.
!!
enjoy the last moment,
be it with ur love ones or family members.
(:

singapore..

2009-12-26T08:13:00.001-08:00

okay,
back today with michelle..
yawnns..
first time so early come back..
normally i will only return to school on wed..
but this time round i will be in school on monday..
cuz friday no school,
so thurs night back again,
friday,sat,sun,mon,tue.
LOL
that is the plan
LOL thats why i come back earlier this time.
if not school attendance sure very nice sia.
anyway, i got 6 warning letter already.
doesnt matter la hor?

pretty fun this holiday,
at least manage to distract most of the time and not thinking about nonsense..
only at night,
ARUGHT..
nvm..
i will get over it,
yes i will..

went to alot of place,
lazy to mention.
friends will know la..
anyway, will be attending christmas party for the first time!
haha
heng its belated party if not mom wont let me back de lor..
went to visit korkor and went god dad's house just now.
he send us back..
siann..
i hate school reopen sia.
need to wear ear piece and listen to music again.
to avoid any possible anger i might vent out anytime.
i hope someone can shut her mouth sia.
i think i got enuf already.
i dunno if i stil can control..
bloody bitch.

load pictures on fb just now,
can go see (:
night readers

HOLIDAY LA

2009-12-15T07:06:00.000-08:00

holiday started for afew days ler.
walao eh.
sis bring like a dozen of friends over la.
nvm..
they left this morning..
yawnns..

termtest over (:
i guess that was the only thing that makes me feel happy this few days.

it still feel like hell to me..
i still not use to the days not seeing you..
still trying very very hard to get use to it..
how i wish..
i can close my eyes and everything is back to the old good days..
i will listen to what u say..
i will prepare nice dish for u..
we can go for a ride during weekend..
we can sit at ur living room for the entire day for movie marathone.
you will still be the punching bag..
when im down..

Now that its all gone..
i miss them..

god dad's house..

2009-12-07T08:22:00.000-08:00

send mom,sis and maid back on sunday..
then cab to mav's place to pick her up,
then cab back to god dad's house..
stay here till thurs then i go back HOME!

god dad's whole family went to china for vacation..
so his house empty lor..
cannot bring maid along cuz house still gt yong!
erm, for ppl that dunno who is yong,
its a 4year old husky!

LOLs..
so uncle ask me stay in his house since i alone,
let maid serve me shunbian look after her..
LOLs..
4storey+basement..
not that i never stay before la..
but not that empty lor..
me, maid and yong nia.
LOL..

so sunday mav and i studied the whole of the afternoon..
had pizza for dinner then 7 continue till 9+ then she cab back..
this morning meet her at amk hub for lunch..
pepperlunch..
sibei full..
then go school..
too early so go lib..
maths paper is $W#^#%$&*#$%#$&!!!!
i didnt expect i cant really do the last 2nd question!
i thought only the last qns!
nvm..
forget it..
dfund tmr,
edeckt wed,
and..
i hate it,
BIOCHEM ON THURS..
then HOME SWEET HOME!

being petty and unreasonable is the right for all girls.
either u take it, or forget it.
then, call urself a girl if u want.

tired.

2009-12-04T08:30:00.001-08:00

term test next week..
i haven start studying yet!
KNN..
well mama is back!
haha..
so this few days was out with her like WHOLE day right after school..
everyday home at 11+..
bathed and slept..
tired..
this morning maid didnt wake me up!
took cab to school..

yawnns.
so today go shopping with mom again
everyday shop till we got no more hands to carry..
one person afew bags of goodies..
yawnns..
anyway,
im feelin so good now!

u know..
i have listed my condition la..
the only way to make me break my 3-years condition is so easy?
i think u can meet the targets easily rite?
haha..
i'll see and wait..
if not, too bad?

i can't stand someone who graduate later then me.
seriously.
money and look wise..
okay la u meet the target..
graduate thingy..
we'll wait for ur Alevel results kay!
dont forget..
if u miss it..
U STILL HAVE NS TO GO..
and i wil graduate before u by then..
LOL..

gotta mug tmr..
if not i will flunk with flying colors!

i hate those backstabber, bitches, and more bitches.

2009-11-28T09:37:00.000-08:00

yawnns..
home the 3rd day ler..
so this few days was practically fun and fun.
lol..
had new moon and 2012!
both nice movie!
ehh..
cuz is haji la..
always no ticket..
thank god we booked them online..
had both movie at pavilion..
lol anyway i only watch movie there haha..
tmr is shopping spree!~
then at night needa attend wedding dinner..

this few days drove mom to office..
my dad is,
SCREAMING+ SCOLDING me all along.
LOOK ON UR REAR MIRROR,
RIGHT SIDE AND LEFT SIDE
YOU ARE TOO CLOSE TO THE CAR INFRONT.
U NEED TO PUT SIGNAL AND TURN.
U NEED TO BEWARE OF LORRY AND BUS.
..
its new car.
yea i know new car.
thanks for buynig that.
i really appreciate it.
BUT,
im not nervous at all..
his screaming then make me panic la..
hey,
he keep emphasizing that is a "small" car.
walao.
how small can a 7-seater car be?
TELL ME LA?
i can drive till like that already not bad hor i tell u..
not as if i ask u to buy this rite..
forget it..

yawns.
taylor lautner is hot! (Y)

HOMED

2009-11-26T11:21:00.000-08:00

damn stupid today sia..
was really in very bad mood this entire week..
so stupid..
but was happy yesterday( since time now is 3.24am) cuz im going home!
so stupid..
i never made this mistake before lor..
i left my malaysia simcard at sg home!
so tupid rite?!
i forget i actually put in inside my omnia,
and im using omnia2 now.
so ARUGH.
mom couldn't locate me and she got worried!
as u know..
malaysia is a very extremely sibei not safe country..
she actually went to make an annocement..
walao ehh.
sibei malu sia..

im waiting for new updates everyday..
see if got more things to make me xiasuay or not..
walao eh..
in fact, everyday have new story sia..
really..
like how i emphasize..
if there is an award for the most xiasuay person for 2009.
im the winner for sure.
really sia..
and i actually cant do anything to it cuz of certain reason..
so i gotta bear, bear and BEAR.. with it..
learn a new technic..
just laugh it off la..
but i really cant sleep well sia..
nightmares and nightmares.

anyway..
the more stories u make up,
the more lies u tell,
the more u emphasize how i **** you.
people will just laugh their ass off la.

i take them as joke of the day sia..
everyday got new joke..
BUT STILL VERY DULAN LAAA..
still thnk i very xiasuay sia..
everyday can go hougang already..
thats why recently no mood to everything..
go whre also no expression,
go where also dont wanna talk too much.
i never receive such embarressment for the past 18 years..
really xiasuay..

but still,
u're still the bitch of the year.
knn

FUCK OFF BITCH

2009-11-23T05:38:00.000-08:00

WHAT A BITCH.
eh, u are the WORST person after wildboar.
im serious.
i never ever thought i would have met anyone lousier and kanasai more than him.
but u sia.
what a bitch eh.

i wont mention name as i dontwant to make the situation worse.
i dont mention not because im afraid of u or wad.
i dunwant to make my friend in difficult position.
u're a bloody bitch.

just continue ur story la.
tell the rest what u think.
im fine with it
whatever u wan.
i never ever thought u could twist the story in such a nice way eh
why dont u be a story editor eh?
choose wrong course huh?
i damn dulan when i heard all the things today.
yea, only today.
i only realise i have been a idiot+dumbass+KNN ASSHOLE for so long.
how can u say those things behind my back?
do i look like a fucking idiot?
do i?
i really feel like confronting u sia.
i give u face,
really.
i could have throw chairs at u.
i tried to control my anger.
the more i think the more piss i got.
im like !$w%w$^w%w$&#%q#$^#%$ NOW!

just fuck off bitch.
if u dont treasure my friendship,
if u dont treasure my good-ness
then kindly fuck off.
i hate people that spread rumours behind me.
dunno how serious it can get?

go and ask maviser abt the WILD-BOAR incident.
i will make it a big fuss if u want.
BIG FUCK if u are*******
like i care?

just get fucked and fuck off infront of me.
stop spreading bloody rumours,
and please, look into the mirror for once.
u are not that pretty that all the guys will fall for u.
u're nothing.
a very normal bitch in the road.

FUCK OFF LA.

Memories of saga seeds and u is flowing in again

2009-11-19T06:22:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is Friday !
Another week is gone..
Term test approaching. Stress sia..

Had a chat with a friend 2days back..
Then dunno why we suddenly talk about saga seeds ..
I was like..
Stunned for awhile..
It is so fortunate to have someone that pick them up, pack them nicely into a bottles for you..
I agree with that..
Just that I understand them too late..
Time is no mercy..
They never roll back no matter how we beg them..
I wouldn't have make those mistake..
I wouldn't have....

3years commitment,
that's a punishment I gave myself.
I still don't deserve any true love yet..
At least, not now

Saga seeds..
I wonder where still have the trees now..
Memories are for me to really reflect on how stupid I was and how evil I'm
I deserve all I have now..
Retribution la..
..

pissed.

2009-11-16T05:59:00.000-08:00

i never thought i would like to post such things,
i always thought it is nothing, yea like it dont really meant anything to me.
but who knows,

okay,
sept i went to see cars with dad,
then that few that i chose no stock, need to wait for like 3-4 months?
then we got pissed, so choose one that i dont like, but dad think that it suits beginner.
then, we wanted blue, NO STOCK, need to wait for 2 months.
car plate down already,now, tell me the color i wanted NO STOCK,
need to wait for next year march.
im like totally WHAT THE FUCK.
so dad got pissed and wanted to buy another one.
so he was on the phone with me yesterday and we came to a conclusion,
either volkswagen golf(turbo),mercedes benz b170 or peugeot 308.
yea, the smaller car with no backside that i wanted.
now,
the person say the car have already, but black one.
either u take it, or we will confiscate the deposite.
im like, WTF.
U FOOL ME LIKE AN IDIOT,
NOW FORCE ME TO TAKE THE BLOODY HELL TOYOTA RUSH AND BLACK SOMEMORE.

then of course i DIE ALSO DONTWANT LA.
dad was like SCREAMING OVER THE BLOODY PHONE,
" IF YOU DONT LIKE BLACK WE CAN GO AND SPRAY OTHER COLOR"
" ANYWAY ITS JUST FOR A PERIOD AFTER UR SKILLS GETS BETTER THEN WE CHANGE"

PROBLEM IS,
ITS NOT A MATTER OF IF I LIKE OR NOT,
ITS LIKE IM LIKE A BLOODY ASSHOLE,
LET THE SALES TREAT ME LIKE IDIOT,
THOUGHT I CAN GET THE CAR I WANTED FINALLY,
BUT IM STILL STUCK TO THIS CAR BUT WITH SHIT COLOR SOMEMORE.

readers,
its my fault huh?
is it?!
MY FAULT HUH??

PISSED.
car issue is one,
another one i dont wish to mention.
afterall, i think i dont really care that much.
i've got tons of better ones waiting.
im serious.

in the midst of WEEK4!!!

2009-11-11T06:36:00.000-08:00

end of first month is reaching!!!
like so fast...

anyway..
gonna have 2 quiz tmr and on friday..
2 more next week..
and biochem on week6!
WA I HATE BIO RELATED SUBS!
all need to memories like HELL..

today dismissal at 1!
went to dewi baby's place to make chocolate cornflakes for ccn day.
before that we went to grab some stuff..
cab to her house..
ate her mom's home-cooked food (Y)
then started making.
LOL..

at 3+ i cabbed home,
then saylee baby and dewi baby cabbed to school for their CDS.
home at 4,
bathed,
dunno why but i ate again lol
fb awhile, then sleep..
i remember i ask my sis to wake me up at 6,
cuz i gotta mug my edeckt!

i sleep all the way to 8 siaa!
then she was like..
wa 8 already huh?
LOL..
study until dunno what time is it liao..

she now Alevel..
i respect her sia..
like ytd night..
im home at abt 10pm..
bathed and did nothing but lying on bed and started snoring already..
she suddenly wake me up and guess wad..

" GO AND MAKE SCRAMMBLE EGG FOR ME LEH"
walao eh
i was like..
FINE.
then i make,
but remind her to wash everything..
ha,
end up i wash them this morning!
slap her la..

yawnns...
i hate busy life seriously..
like so lack of time..
no time to talk to mama..
when she call i already sleeping!
when i wake she still sleeping
when i free she working!
when she free i having lesson!
KNN LA...

anyway..
this 2 days was in a total bad mood really thanks to someone.
doesnt matter anymore.
i dont care already okay.
im like bring alot of question marks in my mind everywhere, everytime!
NVM.

on a happier note,
i can go home on 27th nov!
yes so happy~!

talking to yd now..
he is such an ass..
buddy for reaching 10 years!!
i love him to the max!

end of week 3..

2009-11-06T03:31:00.000-08:00

wow..
time pass like.. so fast?
its the end of week 3 already..
this 3 weeks my life is like..
so busy..
so isolated from the world..
next week quizes coming up..
then CCN day..
then my kanansai timetable..
busy busy busy..

anyway..
so many things happened this week..
i mean..
not alot la..
but those few were that major ones that affected me..
firstly.. my favourite ex went back to austrialia..
the one that accompanied me for night walking,
the one that let me choose the color of his car,
the one that ran out to buy bbq pit when i wanted to eat satay..
...
...
i tried to stay calm and act as nothing happened..
cowardly run back to KL..
act as i dont care at all..
yea..
anyway he wont get to read this cuz he doesnt know this blog ever existed..
well...
isnt it good?
i've been wasting his time..
his parents were rite la..
20+ le still wandering in sg dunno for wad..

secondly, the one i used to love the most is currently suffering from another relationship..
i was really sad to see him in this way..
like so..
very..
i dont know..
i dun feel good...

lastly,
i dont wish to mention more..
i dont care because it is techniqically none of my business..
but i still sad laa....

nevermind..
not feeling well since ytd night..
feeling better now after my long nap..
gotta start my revision this weekend for the quizes..
damn it..

super lack of sleep!

2009-11-04T06:03:00.000-08:00

yawns..
wed already!
so its like 50% of week 3 already lor..
sibei fast right..
next week quizes come again..
means 1month of sch ler..
then wait for another month term test..
then BREAK! WOOTS! 2WEEKS!
hahas
having my christmas at home!!
with didi muahahahaha

today discuss color code for the CCN day..
walao i wan pink de lor...
nevermind..
black then black laa.

so class shud be selling,
curry puffs, cookies, chocolate cornflakes?
lol.

stress sia quiz coming already until now i haven study before lehh..
jia lat..
this weekend must start studying ler..
mama promise if i get all grades B and above she buy the new cam for me!
haha i will really work for it!

anyway..
i hope its not another trap for me to fall la hor..
even if it is not..
i think i already dig a hole myself then i jump in..
dumb me..
really leh even if i know this is only for the time being.
i still very happy..
nothing ever last la..
but also not so short rite..
dunno..
hope i dun have to climb out of the hole so soon..
really..

nights readers..
damn sleepyyyyy

HOMED.

2009-11-01T09:27:00.000-08:00

time now is 1.27am.
my fellow classmate will be having their lesson soon..
im still here in KL.
LOLs..

just briefly update this few days bahh..
hmms..
so the entire family + mom's accountants + 2 drivers pick me up at JB on friday noon
btw i come in with lai jun and chui wan..
lols..
so funny la..
then we went for our lunch..
steamboat!~
woot!
after that go to the hse at JB,
the hse was tear down to renovate.
yawnns..
so while we are on our way back to KL,
we actually ate throughout the whole journey,
went to muar to buy otah and eat alotalotalotalot.
then blah blah
i also lazy to type..

so finally reach kl at 11pm.
slept and the next day was my parent's 20th anniversary!

well, i also lazy to explain in detail..
just celebrate lor..
at night went to watch jennifer's body with kathy and helen.
wow.
so nice laaa..
i will recommend all to watch lols..
today stayed at home..
lazy to go out..
cuz damn sian tmr have to go back ler..
actually wed then going back lor..
but i dunwanna skip my medication class...
SIANNNN...

life is good..
everything seems getting better..
i hope this continues,
before i really go crazy..
yea.. baby..
ure driving me crazy..
i guess only u have the ability..
nights readers (:

很累了..

2009-10-26T05:04:00.000-07:00

okayys..
firsty day of week 2 ended..
YAWNS.
super tired.
tmr morning at 8..
wed morning at 8..
a VERY BIG YAWN AGAIN..

so today in school was rather fun la.
the last 2 hours.
haha.
hmms..
i realise i talk alot of nonsense recently..
then i think i gave alot of people some misunderstands..
or rather i call it fake signals..

there is some situation i face now..
quite complicated..
like..
erm..
like a game of 大老二
i have good cards in my hand.
but i dont get the chance to use it.
im currently holding on to the spade 2, diamond 2, spade ace, and probably heart 2.
abit blur rite..
i dun bear to give out my spade 2..
really..
but i have no choice the other party that is holding on to the heart 2 is left with the last card.
i would have lost the game.
i have no choice..
but i dont bear..
2 ways.
either i lost the game,
or i give it out.

i know giving it out is the best way..
but,
somehow..
hands are not under my control..
i just refuse to take out the card..
i know its rather stupid la..
nevermind..
i guess no one understand what i meant..

i wanna rest early tonight..
msn status appear offline.
wanna click on one particular conversation but i have no courage.
so i left it to be appear offline.
plan tonight,
sleeping at 9pm sharp.
(: night readers !

end of first week...

2009-10-23T06:41:00.000-07:00

okay,
first week of school is officially gone.
i dunno how to express my feeling now.
first week,
its rather easy and relax.
but i know the tough one are coming.
like the otc Medication tutorial is starting next week.
and lectures the week after.
well...
i keep wondering if i choose the wrong cds..
like i add burden to myself.
if not i wouldnt have to come to sch at 8 in the morning when the rest at 1.
but nevermind..
i'll listen to mama.

she happy can liao..
really dont wanna disappoint her..
if it was me in the past..
i would have easily drop the bloody cds..
forget it..

schooling is the only thing i have to do mah..
as a student i mean..
haiis..
wanted to start my revision this weekend..
but most of the books that i wanted to revise went out of stock..
well..
so this weekend i will probably read my biochem notes..
DNA..RNA... NVM......

anyway,
on a happier note.
had lunch with mint at amk hub :D
then catch a movie..
it was rather random la.
cuz we both dismiss at 12.
then i lazy to wait for bus so we end up cabbing to amk hub from school.
lol 12bucks :(
heart not pain because mint with me
LOL
watched pandorum.
i dunno how to say sia.
mint chose the movie.
but half of the time she is closing her eye.
the moving was rather thrilling and scary.
i didnt really watch the front part too
also dare not watch but also slpy la..
the loud effect didnt wake me up.
but mint's action scares me.
suddenly shake the chair when the monster come out.
went shopping with her after the show..
yawnns..
she went to the fitting room for like 3-4 times.
we stay in the shop for like 1hr..
power rite..
but i get abt sian for the last 15min..
she shud feel damn honored la.
iyu accompanied her for shopping..

cabbed home.
michelle went back liao lor..
so good..
can go home..
HAIIIIII...
..
think of my life for the entire semester..
with this shit timetable..

nights people..

school..

2009-10-21T08:13:00.000-07:00

yawns..
wed already..
so i have been schooling for the past 3 days..
yawns..
like damn lack of sleep sia..
early in the morning wake up
late at night reach home..
didnt do much thing and realise its 12 again need to go to bed already..
this morning was late for school..
i slept early the night before leh
like at 11?or maybe 12
then wake up to pee and drink water at 5+..
slept..
alarm suppose to rang at 530 but i didnt hear it,
lesson at 8am,
i wake at 810am.
bloody hell, if my bladder is not heavy need to go toilet i also wont wake de lor
saw 3 missed call and 2 new messages.
knew that its gone.
bathed and change clothes.
cabbed to school.
reach at 845am i think.
first 2 hours is com programming..
doing some sort of java thingy..

so the day just pass like that..
had lunch with saylee baby at century square.
pepper lunch.
it was DOUBLE beef set.
WOOT.
nice nice.
but until now i still very bloated.
didnt hate any dinner.
home at 4pm and slept all the way thru wake at 9..
headache..
i hope i can wake tmr sia..
i really wonder why alarm rang and i dont even feel it..

was glad that first 2 weeks dont have cds lecture,
and 1 week dont have tutorial.
if not..
tuesday i gotta be in sch at 8 when the rest of my classmate come to sch at 1.
and the lesson is 8-10
so im having a knn 3hrs break!
nth but slp in the library i think..
wed even worst..
sch ends at 1..
1HOUR OTCM LECTURE AT 6-7
1 hour nia leh
then i got to wait for like bloody 5 hours in school..
most probably i will skip that lecture every wed lor..
sian..
i feel damn bad..
really..

somtime, its just a matter of ur own thinking.
if u choose to think to the pessi way.
no one can help u.
think to the brighter way of life man.
cheer up baby.

just like i do,
even if i know school starts,
things gonna change.
haha expected.
attitude was like shit again.
doesnt matter.
im used to it.
and soon i gonna give up and i will feel no more again.
i smile everyday,
even bo dai ji i also smile.
cuz i know u wont affect me that much la.
not in any sense.

i will choose the easier path.
like for example,
i will go with the one that loves me more,
than the one that i loved.
get it?

mama says human nature is horrible and terrible.
i gotta be realistic.
if not im gonna be the one to get hurt.
i rather hurt others.

....

2009-10-18T07:46:00.001-07:00

end of the holiday...
sibei fast..
tmr is start of sch..
new timetable sibei packed..
dunno wad to say..
SPEECHLESS...........................................
SIANNED..

1ST

2009-10-01T06:50:00.000-07:00

WOOT!
new bloggyyyy..
hmms..
didnt let the world know haha
cuz i didnt want them to know..
shall keep this private and confidential LOLs..

anyway..
i know u guys can still google it la..
like some peeps kept doing nonstop =.=

anyway..
night life
~!
home everynight at 3+am
slpt at 4am.
wake in the noon by mom..
yawnns..
lack of sleepppp.........!!!

hahaha
siann arrrrr..
school is starting real soon..
yawns..

anyway,
i still hate people that dont text me back sia
if u dunwan to text back
THEN JOLLY WELL DONT TEXT ME IN THE FIRST PLACE LA.
always lite up my hope then let it blow away by the bloody typhoon.
kanasai la..
anyway..
going out sooooon :D
shall update sooonn :)

123

2009-09-28T00:38:00.000-07:00

Testing