I<3IYU

school has been a bitch to me.
fifth week ended and week six is starting tmr, time flew eh?

i'm exhausted.
mentally, physically
so drained. it's like sucking all my energy.

i don't have the intention to blog about it at first, but i guess u will read it. so i want you to know exactly how i feel.

i know you meant good in the beginning, like giving us this idea and planning. even went over to persuade her parents. you know i was really happy when you told me about it, like her parents agreed and we are going to have so much of fun.

i thought, i really thought we will be more bonded after this trip, i hope whatever issues we had before, or rather whatever issues u had with your group now can be settled. we will get to know more about each other and stuff, well everything is screwed now.

i don't know how exactly i'm going to feel, or behave infront of you. so i chose to avoid. i mean i rather we don't talk than awkward silence.

when you said u wana called it off. didn't i initiate to help? but what did u say?
do you know that ur response really, saddens me.
it shows how determine you are not going go and how rush u wanna end this thing.
it all turn into excuses. tons of excuses
don't you find it ridiculous that you can actually plan it, research about it, talk to us about it, and persuade her parents about it. but u just gave us a tight slap on our face.

and the excuse you came out is even more ridiculous. how do you expect her to buy that when you tell us how free your family is, as long as you are paying it yourself.
how you expect me to continue lying for you? you teach me can?
i can't find any excuse you know.

i'm not angry, not even pissed
im just disappointed.
i didn't had a good 19 birthday.
so? you are going to screw hers too?
taking turns is it?

when she forward me the text you sent, i find it hilarious. she don't even wanna go uss now. it's her birthday and you choose to end it this way. you don't feel the pain because this is not happening on you.
and i had to clear the mess up now?
i will keep both my eyes and ears shut.

think about it, i mean do you even think for her feeling at all? all in your mind is yourself. all the excuses you are coming out with, and the way you rejected my offer.

i don't like screwed up friendship, and i hate awkward moments.
forget it.
your temper and character, you are going to think im in the fault for not thinking for you and standing at your point of view again.

i'm done with it.
whatever it is.